'It's A Long Way Back To Germany...' (AKA 'Oh Manchester, so much to answer for...')

 The following was written in June 2022 at the times and in the places indicated. Usual rules apply. 

Ruts DC and Die Artze backstage at Parkbühne Wühlheide Berlin on 07/06/22
L-R Segs, Farin, Dave, Bela, Leigh, Rod

Tuesday 7th at 9.48 am in Room 305 Ibis Hotel in Kurfuerstendamn Berlin

Life is funny stuff sometimes isn't it?  

I'm sure I've written that here before. Oh well.

It's been an extraordinary, some might say ridiculous couple of years hasn't it? Last time we were in Germany it was December 2019 - we played at Huxley's in Berlin with The Stranglers, and it was a wonderful evening. As we stood in the dressing room saying our various goodbyes I shook hands with Dave Greenfield and said something like 'see you back in Blighty then'. He laughed that wonderfully mad laugh of his, then said more-or-less the same thing to me.

Of course, it never happened.

However since then it feels as though a million things have happened, one of which became all too clear when we (Ruts D.C.) entered passport control at Brandenberg Airport. I went to walk through the EU channel as I have so many times before, then abruptly realised that I couldn't. As I stood in the 'All Other Passports' queue I felt a strange sense of sadness, even bleakness. Little Englanders who never leave Little England had done this and more to me and millions of others. The bastards.

The young man behind the glass was friendly enough, which was something of a relief as I had by now convinced myself that he (a) was carrying a gun and (b) hated me and everyone else from the afore-mentioned Kleines England. He asked how long I was planning to stay in Germany and I mumbled something about playing some shows, before surprising us both by blurting out that 'I didn't want to leave Europe, this is ridiculous...' 

He smiled, then almost apologetically said 'no English person who comes through here did' before stamping my passport and wishing me a good stay.

We're in Germany to play two shows with Die Artze. No, I hadn't heard of them either, but they are massive. MASSIVE. The first show is tonight, open air, 20,000 capacity and sold out. Apparently Thursday's show in Dresden is bigger. Excellent.

Last night Mutti and his wife Monica took us to what I suspect is the only Italian restaurant I'll go to that has a wall signed by Charlie Harper, CJ Ramone and other punk rock luminaries. By the time I had gamely battled my way through mountains of pasta and pizza it had been signed by us too. Of course it had. It's probably the only Italian restaurant wall that I will ever sign, although I suppose you never know. We then repaired to the bar opposite our hotel for, well, ages. Of course we did. 

We leave for the venue at 11 am. That's early isn't it? Time to get ready then.

Wednesday 8th at 10.16 am in the same hotel room

Well.. What a day that was. I'll have to think about this one...

10.57 am

I've thought about it, and I'm still not sure what to write here. Oh well - let's see what comes out shall we?

Our day began with a hotel breakfast - it was one of those 'ooh look, we're back in Germany' moments with what seemed like tons of cold meat and cheese everywhere. In a rather sad attempt to eat healthily after the previous evening's excesses I opted for muesli, fruit salad and yogurt. Well, it's worth a try isn't it?

At precisely 11 o'clock Mutti arrived in the bus - within minutes we were on our way to collect his assistant Andrü from Coretex Records where he also works before making our way through the city to Parkbühne Wuhlheide, the scene of the evening's festivities. After collecting our passes and leaving our guitars and gear in our dressing room - actually a tent, but you know what I mean I think - we went out front to have a look at the venue.

It's big. Ooh it's big. This really could be one to remember.

We had been asked to arrive at the venue at midday which we duly did although we all wondered if this was rather early - in the event we waited for around 3 hours before anything of any real importance took place. This was a little annoying in some ways although it did give us chance to sample the backstage catering (oh gawd - more food!) and to catch up with Berlin photographer Raven who has come along to capture the event on our behalf. He first photographed The Ruts in 1980 so has a lot of history with Dave and Segs - he took quite a few shots of us including some in a nearby wood - possibly an unlikely location? - so it'll be interesting to see how they turn out.

The Die Artze soundcheck started at 3.15 - with the doors opening at 4 o'clock it was somewhat inevitable that we would be setting up and soundchecking with people coming into the venue, and this indeed turned out to be the case. Aside for a few problems with Segs's bass set up - it turned out to be a malfunctioning speaker cabinet - sound check went well and we returned to our dressing room in an optimistic mood.

Around 20 minutes before our showtime of 6.15 we met Die Artze for the first time - they were great, really nice people and big Ruts and Ruts D.C. fans. After a few photos of us all together guitarist Farin and bassist Rod said that they would like to introduce our show - drummer Bela stood next to me in the wings, told me that they had just said that their main influences were Bob Marley and The Ruts as a big cheer went up. As we walked out onto the stage I got my first view of the crowd - it was quite a sight.

We started with Something That I Said, then straight into Kill the Pain - Segs said that he had recorded the next song with Die Toten Hosen before we swung into Staring At The Rude Boys. There was just about time for a swig of water before Born Innocent had the crowd clapping along with their hands above their heads, and Jah War saw much dancing and (yes!) singing along. From there it was an easy way home - In A Rut and Babylon's Burning felt great, and Psychic Attack ended to a reaction that many-a headline band would have been proud of. Our 30 minute set was over far too quickly, but it was a great - make that GREAT - gig.

After all our gear was packed away it was time for yet more food (as my nan used to say when I ate too much - 'you'll be as big as a house you will!') before I went out into the venue to watch a bit of the Die Artze show. And very good they were too! Mutti then suggested that it would be good idea to leave before the end to avoid getting caught in the post-gig traffic - this was a bit of a shame as we'd been invited for a drink with the band afterwards but we all agreed that it was probably a good idea. This somewhat inevitably meant that we ended up in the bar opposite the hotel again - with Germany leading England 1-0 the atmosphere was 'interesting' to say the least, and when England equalised from a controversial penalty it became more interesting still... our friend Oliver arrived to general jollity (he promoted our show in Hong Kong a few years ago) and we eventually got back to our hotel at around 2.15 am. A splendid evening. I think.

Today is a day off - Dave and myself are thinking of going to the Technical Museum, and The Rumjacks are on at SO36 tonight so let's see what happens. Sleep, the way I'm feeling at the moment...

Thursday 9th at 9.24 am in the same hotel room

Sometime around 11 am yesterday my phone went ping. A few seconds later it went ping again. And again. The messages were all asking if I/we were ok. I replied that we were, although I had no idea why they were all asking.

The terrorist incident that they knew about had happened a short distance from our hotel. Thankfully we were all blissfully unaware of it. But it makes you think doesn't it...

Dave and myself had intended to have a day out and about in Berlin, including a visit to the nearby KaDeWe superstore (a) out of curiosity and (b) to see if he could pick up a replacement Leki walking stick as he had mislaid his one the previous day. We were going to go out around 10 o'clock but upon discovering that the shop didn't open until 11 Dave scheduled a phone interview about the upcoming Kirsty MacColl boxset (he drummed for her for many years) for 11.15 which meant that we didn't leave the hotel until nearly midday. They didn't have any sticks at the superstore so after a few seconds on Google we took a taxi across town to a suitable shop - traffic was heavy and there more than a few diversions but we got there in the end. We then perhaps rather wildly decided to walk back to our hotel - 'twas further than we thought but it was interesting to be walking rather than be in a vehicle. I stopped to take photos here and there along the way, including one of a rather splendid-looking church - as I looked closer I saw the police tape cordoning off the surrounding area. It was the site of the terrorist incident, and it was a few hundred yards from our hotel.

Supposing we had gone out earlier? Went for a walk and turned left instead of right? Went to look at a local church someone had recommended as 'interesting'?

Incidentally after we'd realised all of this we obviously decided to go to the bar opposite - Dave's walking stick was hanging on the wall outside. Of course it was. 

Friday 9th at 10.01 am in the same hotel room

Another great gig, this time in a football stadium. A football stadium. Who'd have thought it eh?

We left for Dresden at a quarter to eleven yesterday morning - just under three hours later we arrived in the city. Mutti did his usual excellent tourist guide announcements ('and on our left...') which are always interesting - he pointed out the Rudolf Harbig Stadium where Dynamo Dresden play on our right, then turned the van towards it... I've been lucky enough to play some classic venues over the years, but a football stadium had up until this point eluded me. Excellent!

The first person we saw was Rod from Die Artze, who said how much he had enjoyed our show and that he was disappointed that we had not been around for a drink after their show. He then rather sheepishly asked if we would sign a copy of our '40 Years Of The Crack' CD for him and said that Segs was one of his heroes. Amazing. 

Once again we set up and sound checked as the audience were arriving - it had been sunny at the Berlin show but it was a greyer day here, they seemed unperturbed by the possibility of rain as they applauded our 'one two one two'-ing into the microphones. After sound check I bumped into Farin who also said that he'd enjoyed our show, and asked how I got my guitar sound. I often feel a bit awkward when people ask things like this - as an undisputed nerd I usually start rather nervously then bore them to death with details, but he seemed to be really interested. What a nice chap.

Our show began at 6.05 pm - once again Farin and Rod introduced us, and once again our 30 minutes went by far too quickly. Another unforgettable show.

Drangsal were on at 7.10 - I watched a couple of songs then went to the catering tent. I will indeed be as big as a house at this rate... and yes, you've guessed it, we were back at the bar opposite our hotel by 11.20. Of course we were.

Today we rehearse 'The Crack' for North West Calling tomorrow night. Rehearsing in Berlin? No, I never thought I'd ever type that either - but as the past few days have shown, anything is possible. 

Saturday 11th at 9.47 am in Room 440 at Gatwick Travelodge

When we got here at whatever-time-it-was last night - around 1.10 am I think - the last words I expected to hear were 'the bar's open'. 

Oh God.

Anyway - if you ever find yourself in Berlin looking for a place that your band can rehearse at I can heartily recommend The Noisy Rooms. And not just for the name, excellent though that it - it's clean and tidy, all the gear works (including the air conditioning - oh yes!) and yes, you've guessed it, you can get a beer there. It took a bit of finding - it's round the back somewhere, if you know what I mean - but it was well worth the effort. With a performance of 'The Crack' due the next day we thought that we should run through the songs that we rarely play, indeed in some cases hadn't played for around three years - Dope For Guns, Savage Circle, Criminal Mind, Out Of Order and Human Punk all went well. After that we went with Mutti for a quick farewell drink at the bar opposite the hotel - of course we did! - before a taxi took us back to Brandenburg Airport. We'd only arrived there 4 days earlier, but so much had gone on since then it seemed like ages ago... a near-empty flight got us back to Gatwick Airport around 11.40 and, well, you know the rest. Or you can guess it if you don't...

We leave here at 11 am. Again. Time to get ready then. 

Sunday 12th at 11.41 am on the road home

Do you Like Ed Sheehan? How about The Killers?

I don't know much about either of them to be honest. Ed's the little red-headed fella isn't he? Elton John's mate, owns a loop pedal or two, bafflingly popular  - that's him isn't it? And The Killers had that song about your boyfriend looking like your girlfriend or something didn't they? And that one that all cover bands play but that's too difficult for me, mister something-or-other? Bafflingly popular again. Anyway they both played in Manchester last night, somebody reckoned that there were something like an extra 400,000 people in the city over the course of the weekend - great for the local economy, but not too good if you needed to get a hotel...

We stayed in, of all places, Stoke. 

It worked out well - a nice hotel, Rubber Soul Records nearby, we were only an hour from The Ritz... that said after our gig we ended up in a traffic jam long enough to be seen from the moon and didn't get back to Stoke until after 2 am so I suppose that it wasn't all good news. Oh and when I unpacked my very sweaty gig shirt I realised that I'd left my waistcoat and tie (both worn in a desperate attempt to smarten myself up, and because I decided that no one else at the festival would be wearing either) at the venue. Bugger!

Our show was good if a little fraught in places. Maybe we'd been a bit spoilt by the previous few days but to begin with everything seemed a bit too much like hard work. Opening with Babylon's Burning is tough at the best of times - it's bloomin' hard to play! - but ending it to muted applause is tougher. It was then that I realised that much of the audience, many of whom had been watching bands since midday, were either (a) getting jaded, (b) nearly asleep or (c) catatonically drunk. Not all of them though, and things got going in the end, with The Outcasts joining us on group backing vocals for In A Rut (much merriment around my microphone) and H-Eyes bringing things to a suitably raucous end. A great show - eventually. We do it all again at North East Calling in September, but there's a lot going on before then, not least finishing our new album, playing The Rebellion Festival and more. And I'm tired now, very tired as it happens so it'll be time for a snooze soon - it was indeed a long back to Germany, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Forwards! 

Ruts D.C. European Tour, November / December 2019

As Ruts D.C. ready themselves for a return to showbusiness here's a look back at last year's November / December European tour... 

The stage is set - Das Bet, Frankfurt, November 29th 2019

Friday 29th November, 10.30 am, Room 21 of the Goethe Hotel, Frankfurt

'She said... I know what it's like to be dead...' I like The Beatles. I really like The Beatles. I mean I really like The Beatles. Sometimes I don't listen to very much else, and this is definitely one of those times. And today I really really like 'Revolver'. I've got something I can laugh about. Good day, sunshine.
Actually it's quite a grey day outside, but at least it's not raining. It was raining last night when we arrived at Das Bett in Frankfurt to load our gear in for our gig there, and it was still raining when we left there 7 or so hours later. At least that didn't stop a very enthusiastic audience coming to the show, but more about that in a minute. 
We - Ruts D.C. - are on tour in Europe. 12 shows in 12 days, 7 of them supporting The Stranglers in some very impressive venues, the rest club shows with us headlining. It's good to be back on the road (maaan!) although the road is long, with many-a winding turn - well, it certainly was yesterday as we travelled the 360-odd miles from Paris to Frankfurt, and it's the best part of 500 miles from Stuttgart to Bologna tomorrow. A long and winding road indeed.

But enough of the increasingly awkward quotes from not-particularly cool songs - how did we get here?

'Made it Ma,
top of the World...'

On Thursday evening we - tour manager Liam, Duds the driver and Dave, Segs and myself - stayed in the St. Albans B & B in Dover; this set us up for the 8.45 am ferry to Calais and the subsequent drive to gay Paris where the rain did nothing to dampen our enthusiasm at seeing our name (literally) up in lights at The Olympia. It's impossible not to be aware of the heritage of the place - from Edith Piaf to Jimi Hendrix and from Jacques Brel to David Bowie via Iggy Pop and indeed The Beatles, they've all graced the stage. And what a fantastic venue it is, from the drive-in backstage area to the astonishing foyer it lived up to it's legend with ease. Our breathless 45 minute support set started with 'Something That I Said', ended with 'Psychic Attack' and went down well with all concerned, although nothing quite prepares you for a shirtless Jean-Jacques Burnel coming into the dressing room to ask how the show went. 'Great' replied Segs cheerily, 'everyone said that I have a better physique than you'. 'Well, they would' smiled JJ. A good start to the tour.

And last night, the first of our 'solo' shows - a 90 minute roar through most of 'The Crack', a fair bit of 'Music Must Destroy' and all points in between. Das Bett is a excellent club, the audience was up for it from the first song - great stuff all round. 

Right - it's Stuttgart tonight so it's time for a shower now - on the road again...    

Monday 2nd December, 12.07 pm, carriage 5 seat 33 on the 11.45 am train from Rome to Turin 

Well. You never know do you? It goes to show you never can tell.

So there we were, less than 10 minutes away from The Orion, looking forward to another gig with The Stranglers and bemoaning the fact that we were on the Rome ring road rather than passing by The Colosseum when a previously unheard and not-even-vaguely nice sound came from somewhere beneath the bus. It was a kind of grinding noise. And as if by magic we stopped moving, and didn't start again. Bugger. I'd just replied to a message from Jim the Stranglers's drummer asking where we were and if we were ok by saying something like 'see y'all in 10 minutes' - as I say, you never can tell can you? 

Mr.Spock,
backstage at Goldmarks. Weird 

There are no good places to break down are there? This one could have been worse, but not much - as vehicles careered past us (and, strangely, the odd pedestrian - what on Earth were they doing there?) Duds had a hi-vis vest on and a red warning triangle out in no time while Liam went into a not-inconsiderable amount of mobile phone action. To cut a long-ish story short-ish, a very nice chap called Maximilian made three journeys to get the band, Liam and all our gear to the venue while the ever-heroic Duds stayed with the broken bus - he and it eventually got towed to the venue around 10 pm. We just about got set up and soundchecked before the doors opened at half past seven; we roared through our set as Liam made phone calls, sent emails and generally worked his magic on what until that point was looking like a distinctly unmagical situation while we played our show. We ended up staying on the outskirts of Rome (still nowhere near Colosseum - bah!) and we're now on the afore-mentioned train while Duds and Liam are in a hired van hoping to get our gear and baggage to Turin in time for tonight's show. Crazy times - and it had all been going so well... a great night for us at Goldmarks in Stuttgart - where we played a slightly different set to the previous night as there were people attending both shows) and a splendid support show in Bologna (where it was great to catch up with Marz from The Valentines and his lady Angela) had set us up for a good night in Rome. We played well - perhaps very well given the circumstances - but it was a very fraught time. In a effort to clear my head and to have a break from the backstage wheeling and dealing I went out to watch some of The Stranglers's set where I met some people from Coventry who had come all the way over to Italy to see us and who didn't actually know that The Stranglers were playing. Amazing. As I say, you never can tell - let's see what tonight brings...


Wednesday 4th December, 11.10 am leaving for Cologne

It's misty. Oh. ok, it's foggy. Actually that's a point - when does mist become fog? For that matter when does fog become mist? Hmm...

So here we are in our 'new' van, and very nice it is too. I believe that it comes courtesy of The Rumjacks via our friend Mark Sabin who, when he saw various Facebook posts detailing our plight in Rome contacted various people on our behalf. What a splendid chap - I really must get him a drink next time I see him.

When last we spoke Dave, Segs and myself were on a train bound for Turin. I spent much of my journey hemmed into my window seat by a (presumably) Italian goddess asleep in the aisle seat next to me. I don't think that she looked at me once during the journey - actually thinking about it she probably looked at me once and then decided not to look at me again. Ah well.

After arriving in Turin we took a taxi to The Hotel Galant where we managed 30-odd minutes of relative calm before taking another taxi to The Teatro Della Concordia just after 6 o'clock - after grabbing a bite to eat the call came through that our gear would be arriving any minute. Sure enough as the clock struck seven times the indefatigable Duds and the ever-exuberant Liam arrived, giving us 30 minutes to get the gear in, set up and soundchecked before the doors opened. Once again all hands were on deck, once again we somehow got it all done. It's amazing what you can do when you have to isn't it?

Live at Lucerne - thanks Martin!

When we started our show at 8.15 there must have been, ooh, 30-odd people in a venue that must hold at least 20 times that amount; when we finished 45 minutes later there were probably a couple of hundred more. They saw a show that for the second night running could very easily have not happened at all but which once again turned out to be better than it perhaps had any right to be. And last night we played Sedal in Lucerne - Martin and his team made us all very welcome (he designs the most wonderful posters as you can see here) and we played a very good show to a very enthusiastic audience. I do wish that they wouldn't let people smoke in venues though - they did ask people to stop while we played and put the air conditioning on but I suppose we've all got used to playing in clearer rooms these days. Sadly our stage fans had to be left in Rome due to lack of space in the van so it was bloomin' hot on stage - hopefully we'll be able to buy some more today. First World Problems eh?

Tonight we're in Cologne with The Backyard Band - we played with them last year and I really liked them so I'm looking forward to seeing them again tonight. We then rejoin The Stranglers for gigs in Amsterdam and Hamburg before journeying North for our own show in Husum - no, I don't know it either - then finish the tour in Berlin on Sunday. This means that we're now over halfway through our '12-shows-in-12-days' stint - I feel tired but not exhausted, and given the madness that has befallen us on the way everyone is in high spirits and pretty good shape. Let's hope that things stay that way.

Friday 6th December, 10.43 am, on the Amsterdam ring road

'Headache? Tense nervous headache? Take Anadin.'

Do you remember that advert? It's funny what comes into your mind sometimes isn't it? Well, it's funny what comes into my mind... 

Stage passes for the tour.
I could probably get a
few bob for these couldn't I?

I've got a headache at the moment, although not necessarily of the tense, nervous kind. It may be at least in part attributable to drinking until 2 am in Dan Murphy's Irish Bar near the venue. Or maybe I've just got a headache. In which case nothing acts faster than Anadin. Or something. Still 'twas a great night last night - The Milkweg is a classic venue, and with the show a sellout it was full when we started at 8 o'clock and even fuller (is that good English? It's not is it?) when we finished 40 minutes later. It was absolutely packed for The Stranglers, or it certainly was for the last part of their set, when I found myself wedged against the bar at the back of the hall - not the worst place to find yourself, although it did get a bit pricey... back to our show where, to continue the 'First World Problems' theme, both Segs and myself had odd moments with plectrums. I dropped mine during our first song ('Something That I Said' - we've started all the Stranglers support shows with this song, a good choice I think) and only just managed to get one out of my back pocket in time for the guitar solo (as I say, first world problems...) whereas Segs somehow cut his thumb opening a can of beer near the end of our set - as often happens if you cut your hand it bled profusely, although as he put it, 'it helped my plectrum stay on my hand'. On seeing it after the show JJ just calmly asked him 'did you hit someone?' A fair question I suppose. or certainly a fair question if you're Jean-Jacques Burnel. As I say, a splendid evening all round - unlike the previous evening at Helios 37 in Cologne where my amplifier decided not to work. Well that's not strictly true - it was fine during our soundcheck, to such an extent that our new friend Chris the sound engineer complemented me on how good it sounded ('at last, someone who knows how to work an amplifier'. What a nice chap!) And it sounded great after the show, when I decided rather nervously to try some trouble-shooting and it worked with no problem whatsoever. It was during the gig that it didn't play the game - total silence is never a good start to a show. Fortunately we had a spare, but it took me a few songs to get going - overall not a bad gig, but our standards are high, and we felt that we'd dropped back a bit from the previous night in Lucerne. Still we were definitely back on form last night, and we're in Hamburg tonight which is usually a good one for us. Oh and before I forget, The Backyard Band were excellent. Check 'em out, you won't be disappointed!

Right - time for a sleep to get rid of this headache. Hopefully.

Sunday 8th December, 10.29 am, leaving Husum

The obligatory 'on the road' photo -
going from Italy into Switzerland

Well as I said earlier I hadn't heard of Husum before, but what a great place. We arrived early afternoon yesterday and so had a bit of time to look around, which of course involved the triumphant sighting of a Guinness sign (oh yes!) and a meal in an Italian restaurant (implausibly attractive waitresses!) before heading out of town to The Paulsen Hotel where I managed an afternoon nap - rock 'n'roll eh? We returned to The Speicher to set up around 6 pm - it's a great club with friendly people, which set the scene for a top evening. Perhaps surprisingly it took a while to get going; maybe there was a bit of a language barrier or possibly it was one of those venues that people go to whether the know the band who's playing or not - for example Segs saying that it was Malcolm Owen's birthday was met by almost total indifference and indeed silence. Still things picked up and with much dancing and merriment it was very much a case of 'all's well that ends well'. And there were more first world problems to contend with, this time for your humble narrator when my mobile phone went dead. As in 'dead' i.e. not working, black screen, the lot. It turned out that the battery went from around half charge to 0% in a few seconds - when you get these things they don't tell you that they don't actually work do they?

The previous night we supported The Stranglers at Fabrik in Hamburg - no delay in getting going there, as we left the stage to a reception that many headline bands would have been happy with. Great stuff - and talking of headline bands, The Stranglers were excellent, although as I have observed on a number of occasions in these hallowed pages, they usually are.

So - Berlin tonight, the last night of the tour. I really must work out how many miles we've travelled. I must also work out what on Earth I'm going to do with myself when all of this is over.

Tuesday 12th December, 10.49 am at home

It's always weird, coming home after a tour.

You feel tired... empty... or something.

I've just worked that we travelled over 3,500 miles in the buses which, leaving out the 600 mile flight home, means that we averaged over 250 miles a day. No wonder I feel a bit... something or other...

Great photo eh? Thanks Rikki!

But what a show to end on - Huxleys in Berlin used to be Neue Welt, which saw appearances from The Clash, Jimi Hendrix and (gulp!) Adolf Hitler among many others. And since Hendrix also played at The Paris Olympia it means that we began and ended the tour on a stage previously graced by The Experience. That's a nice thing to be able to type... 'twas a great gig to end on, with 'H-Eyes' making it's first and therefore only appearance on the tour - it was a requested by Rikki from The Stranglers road crew, who took some excellent pictures of us throughout the tour. The Stranglers were brilliant, Vom and Andi from Die Toten Hosen came along as did Mutti and Monica from Muttis Bookings, and quite a few of us ended up in The Franken Bar until the small hours drinking far too much - as I say, a great gig to end on. 

Hopefully there will be many more shows with The Stranglers - it's a great double bill that works so well on many levels for both the band and the audience -but in the meantime Ruts D.C. have got work to do. We've got a live album to put together and songs to write for a projected new release - but first I've got to do two weeks worth of washing. More First World Problems eh? When are we back on tour?!?

Ruts Dc, Husum, Germany, December 7th 2019

The Guns Of Brixton

Well it wasn't without the odd mad moment - breaking down on the Rome ring road will stay with me for a while! - but overall the Ruts D.C. European jaunt was a great, maybe even unqualified success. The shows with The Stranglers were uniformly excellent (as indeed were The Stranglers) and our solo shows all went well - highlights were many and varied, but playing The Paris Olympia was fabulous as was the last show of the tour in Huxley's in Berlin (incidentally both of these venues were once played by The Jimi Hendrix Experience - excellent!) where it was great to catch up with Mutti and Monica from Muttis Booking, Andi and Vom from Die Toten Hosen and many more. I made the usual scribbly notes as we went along which will hopefully see the light of day here at some time in the not-too-distant future, and reported as it all happened on Facebook - I'd be lying if I didn't say that 12 shows in 12 days was a long haul, but as we all admitted afterwards, we could all have carried on for more... probably... anyway no time to worry about that now as we finish 2019 with a show at The Brixton Academy this coming Saturday 21st December supporting The Alabama 3. The Woodentops are also on the bill (remember them? They were good!) and with The Alabama 3 playing the whole of their classic first album 'Exile On Coldharbour Lane' it promises to be a fine end to what overall has been a great year for the band. Oh yes!

Roots, Radicals, Rockers and Reggae

So. 2018 then. Not a bad year?

No, not a bad year. Well, I didn't think that it was.

Then again considering that it began for me with my Dad catching The Flu then developing pneumonia I suppose I was rather hoping for it to improve... within a couple of weeks of that (and with him thankfully at home recovering) Ruts D.C. were gigging in Japan and Hong Kong then touring Australia and New Zealand before embarking on a British tour supporting Stiff Little Fingers. If that was all we'd done I'd be saying that it had been a good year, but we went on to play many more memorable shows - The Rebellion Festival in Blackpool is always a highlight, but the Rebellion Amsterdam weekend was wonderful; we also made our first visit to Denmark, played a tattoo festival in France, gigged on a boat up and down the River Spree in Berlin and more including a visit to Abbey Road Studios - little if any of which got reported here. It's all been on my Facebook page - which is a somewhat woolly excuse for this being only the twelfth blog posting of the year. There was a time when used to do that in a month. But I guess times change... maybe there'll be more here next year?    

Talking of 2019, I'm hoping to play some more shows with Punky Reggae Party. Having first gigged with them back in the summer (an incident that incredibly is reported somewhere in these hallowed pages!) I've since played a couple more gigs with them including a fine show at The Cavern in Raynes Park just before Christmas - hopefully they will be many more to come, the first of which is at The Bread And Roses in Clapham on Saturday 19th January. I'm also putting another band together with some old friends, but more news on that as and when I have it. And Ruts D.C. are heading out on the '40 Years Of The Crack' tour in February, with (hopefully) more to come after that.

So hopefully 2019 will be a good year for me and my guitar - and I hope it is for you too. 

Forwards!

'Didn't you used to write a blog Leigh?'

Yes. Yes I did.

And I will again, honest.

'Well, why don't you write it at the moment?' 

It's... er... it's just that... I've... well, I've been really busy. God knows how and at what, but there doesn't seem to have been time to do anything other than work in Balcony Shirts and play the guitar with Big Al Reed and the Blistering Buicks. I must have done something else?

Yes, of course I have - I've been to The 100 Club a few times. I saw Glen Matlock with the mighty Earl Slick on guitar, and The Chords UK with Chris Pope on fine form among others.. and last month I played at The Gwyl Pontardawe Festival with Neck, a splendid if rather rainy event in Wales. Of course I've done things. Of course I have. Haven't I? 

Hmm... I guess we all have times when we feel as though things are passing us by? And this, my friends, is how I've felt lately. Strange. However...

This week Ruts D.C. return to the stage. Thank Christ for that. We've got three gigs in Germany (Hannover, Hamburg and Berlin) and we're playing in Denmark at the Atlas Paere Punk 40 Festival in Aarhus, all courtesy of our good friends at Muttis Booking. And I for one can't wait - I've never been to Denmark before, and the Berlin show is on a boat going up and down the River Spree. That's more like it!
Usual rules apply - I'll update my Facebook page as often as I can, and I'll take a load of scribbly notes that might or might not get transcribed here one day. And by the very act of typing this here I appear to be back blogging again. 

As I say, that's more like it.

From Down Under to The Underworld

Much has happened since last we spoke...

Ruts D.C. played five shows in Germany - after an inauspicious start that involved what might politely be described as 'total chaos' at Gatwick Airport we arrived in Berlin to find that our baggage hadn't made it across and so played at SO36 using borrowed guitars (amazing work by all at Muttis in getting this all together) and even though I say so myself, played it rather well. Instruments arrived next morning along with my clothes and effects pedals although Segs's stuff was sadly still back in Blighty so after a bit of shopping on his behalf we carried on to Hannover and Hamburg before heading to Magdeburg and Flensburg for arena shows supporting Die Toten Hosen. These were every bit as extraordinary as we were hoping that they would be - as always the scribbly notes were made on the way round so more words on the subject will hopefully (possibly?!) appear here before too long, but in the meantime the band and indeed my Facebook pages were updated regularly so there's more of the story there if you're interested.

After arriving home on Wednesday afternoon it was straight back to basics for your humble narrator with a day in Balcony Shirts yesterday; I'll be with Big Al Reed and The Blistering Buicks tonight at The Halfway House in Rickmansworth (we played in front of over 5,000 people on Tuesday night - I wonder how many will be there tonight?) before Ruts D.C. play The Camden Rocks Festival tomorrow night. We're on at The Underworld at 7.30 - that's a good spot isn't it?

And talking of good spots, we're supporting The Stranglers in Australia and New Zealand next February! Oh yes!

Shiny Happy People

If only my copy looked like this!

'God Save The Queen' by The Sex Pistols was released 40 years ago this week. I was 15 years old and, in that strange way that you want to be older when you're young, really wished that I was 16. I bought the single from the record shop (Crowley's?) in Windsor Street Uxbridge (which is now Nightfly Records, next to Balcony Shirts) more-or-less on the day that it was released, and since my Mum and Dad didn't want any of that punk rock lark in the house I had to smuggle it into my room when I got home. I also had to keep it secret from my little brother Terry who of course would have liked nothing better than to have outed me as an enemy sympathiser. This meant that I had to wait for the house to be empty before I dared to play it, which necessitated going home during my school lunch break. Listened to then (over and over again, sweaty from running, excited and nervous as I was half-expecting Mum, Dad and Terry to burst in with an eviction notice) it sounded like one of the greatest records - no, one of the greatest things - ever made; listened to now it sounds like, well, pretty much the same thing to me. It remains one of the great 'them and us' moments in music - it lost me some friends, gained me some more and in a weird sort of way helped to set the course for my little life. Can something as 'unimportant' as a pop record do that? This one could.

Ruts D.C. are off to Germany this coming weekend courtesy of our good friends at Muttis Booking Agency - we're playing shows in Berlin, Hannover (Hanover? Is that how you spell it?!) and Hamburg before supporting Die Toten Hosen in Magdeburg (The Price played there in 1990, our gig was attacked by right-wing skinheads - not good!) and Flensburg. We've been rehearsing today (and sounding rather good, even though I say so myself) and it's always great to play in Germany so hopefully these gigs will all live up to expectations - as with the Stranglers tour I'll be attempting to update my Facebook page as often as I can while we're there, and no doubt the usual tales of drunkenness and cruelty will appear here at some point in the not-too-distant future as I appear to have remembered how to write a blog piece. That's good isn't it? Now if you excuse me, it's time to play the Pistols album. Sometimes only the best will do - it's the only way to be, as someone once sang...

Ruts D.C. European Tour, September 2014

As we prepare to return to Europe next week I've finally got round to typing up the at-times-very-difficult-to-read notes that I made during last September's Ruts D.C. European tour - come with me now to Germany, Poland, Austria, Norway and Hell, the last of which is of course a lift somewhere in a well-known airport the South of England...  

Friday 19th, 12.25pm in the bus somewhere between Hamburg and Dusseldorf.

Ooh my head hurts. I thought it might have stopped hurting by now but it hasn't. Oh well.

Your humble narrator
in Hamburg on
the first day of the tour.

It was a long day yesterday. My alarm went off at 5.15am - I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't been aware of the 'Quadrophenia' connection! - and an hour later I was outside of the house waiting for a taxi. With me was my Les Paul and two bags, one of which was significantly bigger than the other as in addition to 10 days worth of clothes it also contained my guitar effects pedalboard. I'd booked said taxi for quarter past six - a text message had arrived informing me that it was outside but it was sadly nowhere to be seen. Oh dear... after a few minutes it arrived - it had gone to the wrong end of the road.
I met Segs and Dave at Heathrow Airport Terminal 1 (zone G in case you were wondering) where check-in went well and we were through security and sitting down to breakfast in no time. With Molara away elsewhere a three-piece Ruts D.C. are playing 10 shows in 10 days across Europe - the first 9 gigs have been organised by The Muttis Booking Agency and take in Germany, Poland And Austria; we then fly to Norway where we finish at a festival. The mood was good if a little bleary (well it was certainly bleary from my point of view!) and after a pleasingly uneventful flight we were met at Hamburg Airport by Mutti and Katya who took us to the hotel to check-in. We then went to The Fish Market for some food (where we bumped into Mattais who I met at The Rebellion Festival in August and who was wearing the first Ruts t-shirt of the tour!) before we returned to the hotel for a planning session. We played at The Hafenklang when we first came to Germany last September - it's a great venue that provided a splendid vegetarian meal for the bands and crew (we were supported by local lads Goodbye Jersey) which was gratefully received by all concerned. We then walked along to The Haifisch Bar where we met up with Nikolai from Echo Beach Records (who put out 'Rhythm Collision Volume 2' last year) among other luminaries. When I got back to the venue there were plenty of people in and the scene was set - I remember it being a good show last year, and this one was if anything even better and an excellent start to the tour. Afterwards there were drinks to drink and talk to talk - that'll be the cause of my headache then...

Saturday 20th, time unknown (because I didn't write it down) 143 Km from Berlin.

We've just passed a sign for Magdeburg - The Price played a show there during our tour of East Germany back in 1990 which was memorable for it being attacked by black-clad right wing skinheads. I recall that we gave an extraordinary performance, the sort of thing that you do when you think that you're going to get flattened by a load of scary blokes. Strange but true.
Ruts D.C. played well in Dusseldorf last night without being under threat, although the show was not without incident. We generally have the services of soundman extraordinaire Nick Diesel but he was unavailable for the tour so we're trusting to local sound crews; he usually brings along a Roland Space Echo to use for dub echo effects but again we're without that. These two factors combined during last night's soundcheck to cause us to (a) contemplate flying Nick over for the remaining shows (we called him, he's still unavailable) and (b) attempt to buy a Space Echo (we've got one reserved in a shop in Berlin). But that was the least of our worries, as partway through our second song 'Mighty Soldier' Segs's bass started to cut in and out before going off completely during 'Back Biter'. The problem turned out to be the D.I. box and the lead connecting to it - once it was all sorted the show went on to be if anything a touch better than the previous night, with 'Something That I Said' being saved for an encore rather than appearing mid-set and a raucous 'Society' finishing things off in no uncertain terms. Earlier support had come from Alaska, The Myers and The Tips - I'd not seen the latter band since they supported us last year and the evidence of this show things are going very well for them as they sounded excellent. And I'm not just saying that because they gave me their new album 'Trippin' ' and a t-shirt, honest!
Die Toten Hosen drummer Vom is a very nice chap who among his other attributes has a bar in the basement of his house. How do I know this? Simple - we went there after the show and had more than a few drinks. Hmm... all things considered I don't feel too band but I think that the term 'pace yourself Leigh' might come in handy over the next week or so. 

To Berlin! 

Sunday 21st, 9.45 am just leaving Berlin.

It's a long way to Tipperary, as well we all know. But it's also a long way to Poland (or to be precise, the town of Gydina where we're playing tonight) which is why we're on the road at such a worryingly early time. And if ever there's a place to spend more time in then it's got to Berlin hasn't it? Ah well - maybe / hopefully next time. But last night's show at SO36 really was something special; after a fine support set from Plan B (not that Plan B!) during one number of which all the band members took it in turns to crowd surf (I think that's what it's called, you know that thing where the audience members carry them above their heads - not much chance of any of us trying that I can tell you!) the scene was set for a classic show and I'm pleased to say that it turned out that way. As we walked up the steps to the stage Segs said that he was going to start with 'a bit of chat - just follow me'; as he spoke Dave and myself drifted into the chords of 'Whatever We Do' before the song began. The sold out crowd was with us from the word go and the show took off from there - it felt great and without wishing to sound too big-headed it was great. We all fancied going for a drink afterwards, but with the afore-mentioned early start already looming discretion was the better part of valour (for once!) and we headed back to the hotel. As I say, maybe next time. Now we're travelling through what was The GDR which couldn't be more different than the city that we've just left behind. It's flat, misty, a few degrees cooler than yesterday and the road looks as though it could go on forever. Maybe it does?

11.22am

We've just entered Poland - KFC, BP, Wild Bean Cafe and a sign for Gdansk. I've not been here before, and it's good to be here now. Mind you as Keith Richards often says, it's good to be anywhere...

Monday 22nd, 11.23am in Gdynia.

Hello from Room 211 of The Hotel Hotton; I've had a shower, eaten breakfast, changed my strings and I still have time to sit down and write this - the first leisurely morning of the tour is happening right here, right now. We're leaving at midday to collect our equipment from The Ucho Club which is (literally) just around the corner, then as it's 'only' a two hour drive to Torun for tonight's show we're going to do a bit of sightseeing along the way. I'm told that there's plenty to see so hopefully we'll see it!
'Twas a good show last night, although audience numbers were lower than expected due to The Volleyball World Cup Final being on television. Yes that does sound a bit mad doesn't it? Poland were in the final, and judging by the number of people gathering to watch it in the hotel bar expectations were high. I wonder who won? Anyway we played well, and afterwards met what felt like the entire audience. Many were old fans who clearly could not quite believe that Dave and Segs were actually among them; it's great to see this as it's a reminder (should one ever be needed) of just how much Ruts and Ruts D.C. music means to people. And from what they were saying many will be at tonight's show too.
Right - time to finish what's left of last night's pizza (rock 'n' roll eh?!?) and to gather my things and go, as T.V. Smith once (almost) sang. Forward!

3.20pm.

It does what it says on the tin...

We're just leaving Gdansk having paid a visit to the new (around two weeks old) Solidarity Museum. What an extraordinary building - it's made from rusty steel (actually thinking about it I suppose that it's clad in rusty steel rather than being built from it, but you know what I mean I think) and is next to the shipyard entrance. Sadly we didn't have time to go around the exhibition as we have to be in Torun by 6 o'clock, but hopefully we'll be here again. Earlier we stopped off at the seaside resort of Sopot on The Baltic Sea, and before that had chance to see the ships at Gydnia Harbour. It's been good to see a bit of the country (not least as I've not been here before) as for the first few days there wasn't time to do anything much apart from play the gig and travel to the next one. Mind you, this isn't a holiday is it?

Tuesday 23rd, 10.25am leaving Torun.

The Astronomer Copernicus came from Torun, and judging by the number of references to him the town seems to be very proud of this. Mind you we've just spotted the Till Death Tattooist in the town square...
Judging by the posters adorning the walls Pub Pamela is more of a blues venue than anything else; that didn't seem to worry the audience, many of whom were young punky types who all seemed to be more than aware of Ruts and Ruts D.C. material. A great number of people were taking photos or filming our efforts, so it's probably all over the Internet by now... our show began with an acapella chorus of 'Whatever We Do' and was perhaps not quite up to the heights of the Berlin bash but was pretty good all the same. Earlier in the evening Dave and Segs were interviewed by a local TV station, and a lot of audience members asked for photos with them which again are probably all over the Internet by now. The only downside to an otherwise enjoyable evening were a couple of people wearing Rock Against Communism t-shirts - Mutti was of the opinion that this is a right wing organisation whereas promoter Kris thought that he and indeed we were wrong to be concerned. Hmmm...
Now we have a 5+ hour drive to Katowice where we're playing a short notice gig at The Megaclub. The name of the club has somewhat inevitably bought to my mind The Mega City Four, who The Price played several shows with and who I'm a big fan of. I remember them telling me stories of their exploits touring Eastern Europe, much of which involved trying to get to sleep in the group bus whilst travelling near-astronomical distances between shows. I'm beginning to get the picture - no doubt Copernicus would approve.

Wednesday 24th, 11.25am on a motorway travelling through The Czech Republic.

Another sunny morning, another Sat. Nav. setting, another breakfast eaten just that little bit too quickly - I can really do this touring lark you know. No really, I can. It's easier than it sounds, and I personally don't think that it sounds too difficult...
Rather against the odds last night's show went very well indeed. It was a last minute booking (we were to have a day off, but it's better to play than not play if you know what I mean) at The Megaclub, which is a very impressive (and it must be said, large) venue in Katowice - we reckoned that there were about 40 people in a room that could probably have held over 10 times that number. Still we played well, and the people who were there seemed to love it which is the main thing. The P.A. system was excellent, and despite something of a language barrier the crew were extremely helpful and very good at their jobs. The amount of dancing and general audience merriment belied the relatively small number of people present, with one young chap in a Jam t-shirt scaling the barricades and getting on stage several times. (Mutti very effectively helped him back into the audience every time.) Ruts biographer Roland Link turned up sharp-suited and with his wife Ana - he's always taller than I remember him being, which is a bit odd if you think about it. After meeting and mingling with most of the audience we retired to the bar of The Best Western Hotel where the Talisker flowed and old Cure promo videos played on the Polish equivalent of MTV - a good end to a good day.
Now we're heading to Vienna - I've not been to Austria before so this should be interesting. Dave knows a hat shop there that he'd like to visit (always a good plan!) and Mutti and Katya are both of the opinion the The Chelsea Club is a good venue so there's lots to look forward to. And I've just realised that we're past the halfway point of the tour - I'm tired, but you get tired doing any job don't you?

11.45am.

We've just stopped at a motorway service station - don't ask me where! - and there's a coachload of people waltzing around the car park to accordion music. And that's live accordion music played by a live accordion player. What can this mean? Answers on a postcard please, usual address...

2.35pm.

Drasenhofen. That's in Austria. Excellent.


Thursday 25th, 1.10am back at our hotel.

'God damn God damn God damn, the pusherman...'

Well Vienna. You rocked in the end. Good.

This has been a strange day.  But these are strange days indeed - and there's a John Lennon reference. He's been on my mind a bit lately as Dave was today offered a show with Walter Lure next month at an exhibition of of Bob Gruen photographs - he took the iconic shots of Lennon wearing the New York City t-shirt among so many other classic images.

But back to the plot, such that it is - this was a very odd show.

The Vienna setlist,
in my own not-so-fair hand.

Do you believe in ghosts? I asked Segs the same question earlier and his reply of 'ghosts live in your heart' is at least one good reason why I can't sleep at the moment. Anyway whether you do or whether you don't I for one think that there are things that it's very hard to explain purely scientifically, and what happened to me on stage tonight definitely counts as one of them. Well, it does to me at the moment...
I've had Paul Fox in my head all day today. And why not? I play his riffs every night with the band, I talk to people about him on a regular basis, sometimes people even think that I am him (!) from time to time... anyway 'In A Rut' was the first encore tonight. Sometime during the guitar solo I suddenly found myself standing in the audience at The Fulham Greyhound watching Foxes And Rats, the band Paul formed with Rat Scabies to play material by Jimi Hendrix, Cream, Steppenwolf etc. Oddly enough we played a bit of 'The Pusher' during our soundcheck in Turon the other night, the first time that I heard that song was when Foxes And Rats played it. Weird. Well that might not seem weird to you but it feels weird to me at the moment. But I saw Paul as clearly as I can see the room that I'm sitting in now, looking how he did in the early '80s, on the stage between Segs and me. And I found myself playing a bit of 'Third Stone From The Sun', another song from the F 'n' R repertoire. Segs laughed, and I think I did too.
I spoke to Segs after the show. It had felt like hard work with the on stage sound being less than perfect, although the audience had loved it. I wasn't sure if I should say anything about the things that I'd seen but in the end I said them anyway - he said that Paul had 'been with him all day'. Sitting here now, scribbling half-readable notes that may never be read by anyone, I can say without pretension that I know what he means.

Thursday 25th, 10.55am, leaving Vienna.

Have you ever been to Vienna? The are a lot of, er, 'adult' shops around aren't there? The one opposite last night's venue has a 'cruising area' (it's advertised in the window, I didn't go in and see it, honest!) which I think you'll agree is an evocative thought.
Anyway we're stuck in traffic attempting to find the road that will lead us to the road that leads to Munich. We've just passes The Chelsea Club - on reflection it was a good show, although Tomas the soundman may have overdone the dub echo a bit on a couple of songs making us go out of time here and there. Well, that's my excuse anyway. And the crowd loved it which is always the main consideration - as I say, a good show.
Earlier in the evening we had dinner in The Golden Pelican, a 100 year old strudel restaurant - remind me to tell you just how funny the word 'strudel' can be when I next see you. The food was fantastic but with virtually everybody else in the place smoking you really notice how much nicer it is in Britain with the smoking ban in place. Well I certainly do. Anyway from there we took a cab back to our hotel to get changed - our return cab was moving before we'd closed the doors. Maybe they do that sort of thing in these here parts? When we got back to the venue the mood around it seemed darker - maybe this is a rougher part of town, or maybe our hotel is in one of the better areas?
In the meantime Mutti has just given Dave some new socks (he'd asked him to get them for him, it wasn't a spontaneous act!) and I've got guitar strings to change. So it goes.

1.55pm.

We've just stopped at a large service station, where I've taken the opportunity to buy my Dad a fridge magnet. This somewhat bizarre tradition started ages ago, it's something my brother Terry and myself do whenever we're away - he's got so many now he's had to buy another fridge...
The scenery here is very reminiscent of 'The Sound Of Music', which of course is exactly what it is if you think about it. To this end the rhyming slang potential of 'Von Trapp' is causing much merriment. It doesn't take much sometimes.

2.11pm.

Ah - the German border. Bavaria! To celebrate Dave and Segs are yodelling whilst attempting to sing 'The Lonely Goatherd' and 'She Taught Me To Yodel'. I'd join in but I'm laughing too much. There are tears streaming down all of our faces. Like I say, it doesn't take much sometimes.

3.50pm arriving in Munich.

One of my favourite guitar solos of all time can be found on a live version (recorded in 1977 at The Hope And Anchor since you've asked) of 'Don't Mention It' (aka 'Don't Munchen It') by The Pirates. It features the mighty Mick Green - for me Britain's best rock 'n' roll guitarist - firing on all cylinders and sounding like at least 2 guitarists in the process. I'll no doubt have a listen to it thanks to the magic of the iPod in a minute. Fairly obviously it's come to mind as we're in Munich but it's not a bad thing to have in mind at the best of times.
We were here around this time last year, it's the start of The Oktoberfest and this year there are so many people here that we're staying in Nuremburg. We're travelling there after the gig - all in a day's work. Don't mention it...

11.50pm on the road to Nurenburg.

Well that was an interesting show. While I was in a world of my own (as usual!) remembering Mick Green the mighty Mutti was plotting a course through the outskirts of town to avoid the Oktoberfest gridlock - as always he did a great job, and we were met at The Feierwerk by a gang of strapping young lads eager to help us carry our equipment into the venue. It's good when that happens! The backstage area had a shower and bunk beds - I took advantage of the latter to catch up on a bit of sleep - this touring lark can sometimes be as tiring as you think it might be.
We took to the stage at 9.15 - 'Whatever We Do' moved into 'Mighty Soldier' and the sound was excellent. We were in a slightly smaller room that last year although there seemed to be more people at the show - but they were quiet, listening as opposed to dancing. Segs's comment that you could hear a pin drop made me wish that I had one with me to try it... there was a bit more jamming than usual, with the 'In A Rut' guitar solo maybe going on a bit longer than it should? Oh well - I enjoyed it! 'Dope For Guns' and 'Something That I Said' made their first appearances for a while, and after the last encore of 'Society' we went to the bar next door for a drink and to meet some of the audience. Dave from Cardiff tells me that 'it's been a long time since I cried at a gig' - I rather weakly joke that I didn't think that we'd been that bad and he grabs my hand with the words 'tears of joy, tears of joy' while looking as though he might start again. He's a guitarist so I ask him if he'd like to see my guitar - as I hand him it he looks almost overwhelmed.
Now we're on our way to Nuremburg, it's Frankfurt tomorrow night before we fly to Oslo for a festival. We're playing well, Segs's voice is sounding great (he was worried about it before the tour began) and I really can't think of any job that I'd rather be doing right now. How lucky am I? That lucky. And that's alright.

1.05am 54Km away from Nurenburg.

Yes I listened to 'Don't Munchen It' and yes, it sounded fabulous. I've also been listening to tracks from 'Achtung Baby', 'Heroes' and 'The Idiot' - we're hundreds of miles from Berlin but they all sound amazing. Amazing. Even better than the real thing? Yeah, why not?

Friday 26th 10.50am Room 326 at The Ibis Budget in Nurenburg.

We got to the hotel not long before 2 o'clock - we then had to carry bags and guitars (I generally take mine in with me, if only so that I can take it out of the case to air and for the guitar strap to dry) up several flights of stairs to the 3rd floor. It might as well have been the North face of The Eiger! Over-dramatic? Probably, but you know what I mean... we didn't have door keys, just a 6 digit number that you entered into a keypad on the door handle. What will they think of next eh? Sadly Katya had the wrong number, and with no staff anywhere to be seen she had to call an emergency number to get her entry code. I couldn't resist telling Dave that I was about to write a blog piece about our Nuremburg trials.
I woke up at 10am to a text from Segs saying that we'd all missed breakfast - within minutes the heroic Katya had appeared outside our collective rooms with coffee and rolls from I know not where. 'I want to live in The Ibis Budget in Nuremburg' said a delirious Segs as the food and drink was passed around, adding 'provided Katya is here looking after us'. Good morning all!

3.15pm.

And so we approach Frankfurt, the scene of our last show with Mutti and Katya. ('Nine gigs in nine days with nein days off') Having just read back through page upon page of often barely-legible scrawl (some of the roads have been a bit bumpy!) it's interesting for me to see how my moods have changed over the last week-and-a-bit - the piece written directly after the Vienna gig is probably the most obvious example of this (it's nothing if not honest!) but there are other examples scattered throughout proceedings. Some of that is obviously due to lack of sleep or alcohol consumption (or let's face it, both!) but I suppose that it's also a reflection of how your mind works over a period of time. In theory the days have all had a similar structure - get up, travel to the show, play the show, go to the hotel, go to sleep - but that doesn't mean that any of them have been for want of a better word, 'routine'. Then again if I abbreviate the above description to 'get up, go to work, go home, go to sleep' I suppose that would describe many if not most people's working day wouldn't it? 
People often assume that the life of a musician is exciting and glamourous - I'd be lying if I didn't say that it sometimes is (!) but it can also be tiring, disorientating and not something that everyone can cope with, however much they might enjoy playing an instrument. Me? I'm due to be back in Balcony Shirts on Monday morning - strange as it may seem I find this 100% easier to do, although I'm all too aware that many people wouldn't. The road really does go on forever, and to paraphrase Charlie Watts you can't do this at home, you have to go to where the people are. Mind you as my mate Alan from The Good Old Boys often says, you can't do this when you're dead...

It's time for us to go to work again soon. Good. 

Saturday 27th 9.25am leaving The Goethe Hotel.

Way back in the mists of time I saw a band called Ruts D.C. play live several times. They were very good. I suppose that's why I saw them several times rather than just once? Anyway as part of their encore they sometimes played the Johnny Kidd and The Pirates song 'Shakin' All Over' - we were in the dressing room after last night's main set preparing to go back on for an encore when Segs said something like 'I can't get that Johnny Kidd song out of my head'. 'Well let's play it then! said I without thinking. So we did - somewhere during the 'In A Rut' guitar solo the bassline changed, I played the riff and along came the immortal opening line - 'when you move in, right up close to me...'

Ruts D.C. playing 'Shakin' All Over' - now there's something that I never thought I'd hear again!

Midday in seat 9E listening to the safety announcement.

Well that certainly qualifies as a 'nervous moment'.We - Dave, Segs and myself - were on an escalator at Frankfurt Airport heading for the SAS desk to pay for some extra luggage when for whatever reason I suddenly couldn't remember picking my passport up. I put my hand into the pocket that I usually keep it in and lo and behold it wasn't there. Bugger! I told the lads that I was going back to the check-in desk where we'd dropped our bags and guitars off a few minutes earlier to see if it was there. As I was on the down escalator surrounded by other travellers obviously oblivious to the thoughts currently careering around my mind I said 'and this had all been going so well' under my breath. Last night's show at Das Bett had been one of the best of the tour, thanks in no little part to the excellent sound (Lee the soundman was particularly helpful) and the very enthusiastic audience, many of whom we met after the show. And as we were only staying a few minutes walk away Mutti could have a few drinks, a situation that pleased him no end.
So I get to the check-in desk and mumble 'er, I think I've left my passport here' to the really rather good-looking young lady behind the counter. She looks around under the counter then says 'you left the guitar didn't you? I'm 99% certain that I gave it back to you'. Sadly I'm 99% certain that she didn't. Oh dear. I check my pockets, then my bag, then my pockets again, then my bag again, like you do in situations such as this. Nothing. 'Well' she smiles, even more good-looking than a few seconds earlier, 'you don't need it to get on your flight'. 'Ah but I'll need it to get back to London tomorrow' I say as both our faces darken. 'Are you sure that one of your friends didn't pick it up? Maybe Mr. Jennings?' Well I must admit that I didn't ask them - but why would they have it? I check my pockets and bag again, then thank her for helping me. 'I'm sure one of your friends will have it' - she smiles again and she really is beautiful. I really hope she's also correct.
I walked briskly back towards the up escalator. I'm sweating. What will I do if they don't have it?
At the top I walk around to the left and see Dave and Segs waiting for me. Oh well, we'll all know soon enough. I nervously ask Segs if he has my passport. No he says, he's only got his own which he gets out of his coat pocket to show me.

It's mine! Thank Christ for that!

Oh hang on - if that's mine then where's his?

It's in his other pocket. Time for a drink!

3.50pm in apartment 127B at The Kempen Hotel in Oslo.

Yes that's right, I've got an apartment all to myself. Hilarious!

Our flight was ok apart from a bizarre moment when Dave and myself simultaneously opened the little pyramid-shaped cartons of milk that we'd just been given by the stewardess to go with our coffees and they both exploded firing milk everywhere. Bugger!
We were met at the airport by Terry who is one of the organisers of the Dogtown Streetpunk Festival; we also met The Cockney Rejects who all seemed like really nice chaps and together we made the 40 minute journey to the hotel. So now there's hopefully time for food and maybe some sleep. Excellent.

Sunday 28th 11.35am in the same apartment.

Well that was quite a night.

There was indeed time for some food at an cafe around the corner from our hotel (they didn't start serving food until 5pm) but not for sleep - we met up with Pablo (returning as tour manager for one night only) and Bob (sound man, we couldn't afford him for the rest of the tour!) and made our collective way to the festival venue which was, unusually, a skatepark; we were playing at one end of what I assume is part of the park while people were skateboarding across the way from us. Interesting! We're introduced to Maria who is our backstage person, she's very helpful and gives us food, drink and AAA wristbands. I walked over to the venue, there, a local band playing with a fair few people watching and more arriving all the time. We work out a set and I warm my guitar-playing fingers up, everyone is friendly although some seem to have been on the backstage bar for longer than perhaps might be wise at this early stage of proceedings... meanwhile Evil Conduct are playing to the still-arriving crowd and going down very well indeed. The sound is better with a few more people in the audience too.
At 10 past 8 we collectively make our way across the road from the backstage area to the stage. I've got a Marshall JCM2000 half stack, it sounds good as soon as I plug in which is always a good sign. We're set up and on in no time - the first couple of reggae-based songs seem to bemuse the crowd a bit but we play on - 'Backbiter' gets more of a reaction so it's clear that they're more interested in the punkier material. Segs introduces 'Something That I Said' as 'a new number which you won't have heard before' - from the first notes it's very clear that they have heard it before and have perhaps been waiting a while to hear it now. Then in 'Love In Vain' Segs's microphone cuts out - he comes over to use mine and as he does so I notice that his mic cable has come apart as there are two XLR cables in the middle of the stage. Maybe one of us stepped on the lead? I quickly plug them back together and he's back on the air. A brace of old singles at the end of the set causes much mayhem - our last song 'In A Rut' includes 'Human Punk' alongside the Hendrix and Kidd snippets, and when we encore with 'Society' the whole place goes wild. Job done I think!

I'd never seen The Cockney Rejects and so had been looking forward to their show for quite some time - I must say that I was not disappointed as it really was a great gig. Micky Geggus is a great rock 'n' roll guitarist, Jeff Turner tirelessly shadowboxed his way around the stage for the whole performance and with Tony and Andy matching them blow for blow they went down a storm with all concerned. Afterwards there are drinks to drink and stories to tell - I ended up back at our hotel drinking with Mick and Tony talking about of all things Brian May's guitar. Now there's a subject that I never though I'd talk to The Cockney Rejects about! A great night all round.

Ooh I'd better get going - we've got a plane to catch...

4.20pm - or is it 3.20pm? - in seat 18C on board Flight SK809.

Sadly our flight was delayed for over an hour - I say 'sadly' but maybe I should say 'happily' as this allowed us to spend even more time in the bar. With our first round of a pint of Guinness, a pint of lager and a mineral water costing the equivalent of over £25 we were able to drink last night's merch money in no time. Ooops! 

Epilogue - 8.55pm.

And of course the most stressful and frankly ridiculous part of my epic journey occurred after we'd landed at Heathrow - it took over an hour for our luggage to appear (bags on belt 5, guitars on belt 11 approximately 2 light years away) which was unfortunate as I'd ordered a taxi not long after we'd got off the aircraft. When my guitar and bags were finally in my possession it then took me a further 30 minutes to get a lift in Terminal 2 to take me to the top floor so I could meet my taxi. I got out of the lift on one of the lower floors to let a humourless ugly tosspot (sorry about the name-calling, but this doesn't end well!) get their fat frame out of said lift and, you've guessed it, the doors closed before I could get back in. It took me another 10 minutes to get another lift, which promptly went down instead of up then moved between floors 2 and 4 for what seemed like several years. I described it to one hapless lift sharer as 'like being in Dante's Inferno', an oddly literate comparison considering that at that precise moment I'd probably have hung myself if I could have found a rope. I eventually got to floor 5, where my taxi driver began by telling me that I owed him an extra £10 for waiting time. I briefly considered murdering him then throwing myself off the building, but instead got in the cab and asked him to set the controls for the heart of the sun. I don't think he knew what I was talking about, and I must be honest and say that I don't think that I did either. Still I'm home now, and unpacking can wait until tomorrow as I'm off down the pub. Well - I can't stop now can I?

Ruts DC on the roof of SO36 in Berlin, Saturday 20th September 2014.