Coming In To Land at The 100 Club

Behold this photo of your humble narrator, taken in the dressing room at The 100 Club last night - as you can see, it's all glamour in the wild 'n' wacky world of showbusiness... my brother Terry took the picture 10 minutes or so after myself and T.V. Smith had finished soundchecking. I don't remember the last time I'd been so nervous before doing something as routine as that, but I suppose it's an indication of how important - maybe how over-important? - the evening was to me. Put simply, I've seen many brilliant shows at the venue, but had never played there myself; I was also aware that there were people coming down to see T.V. play songs from his new album 'Coming In To Land' which was available for the first time at the gig. This had to be - make that had to be - a good gig, and I'm pleased to say that it was...

Terry and myself arrived at the club around 6.40 p.m. to find Kid Vicious (Nigel) and Paul Crook (Dave) of The Sex Pistols Experience cheerily munching their way through some takeaway food. I hadn't seen them since I depped with them back in 2008 and it was good to catch up - while we were talking a text message arrived from T.V. to say that we'd been asked to go on last at 11 o'clock rather than last-but-one at 10 o'clock as the Experience were filming the show for DVD release and it would save them money if the film crew could go home early; co-incidentally I was talking to them about that very subject... I meet T.V. and we both say something like 'it's nice to be nice isn't it?' and so agree to move our slot to later in the evening. Meanwhile it's impossible not to notice how different the club looks when the lights are on and there's no one home, although that's the same for most venues... I'm introduced to Ray the soundman and with the stage clear we do the afore-mentioned soundcheck before Terry and myself head off down Oxford Street in search of some food. When we return we say hello to Vince who used to run Released Emotions Records back in the '80's and '90's and released a single and a mini-album by The Price all those years ago. Pretty soon it's time for the opening act of the evening Shag Nasty to take to the stage, they sound ok although I'm not sure I'd have attempted a cover version of 'Bodies' on a night such as this.

When they finish Terry, T.V. and myself walk down to Hanway Street when T'V. is meeting up with Gaye Advert and some of their friends at Bradley's Spanish bar; the road is very narrow and with people drinking outside on the pavement there are more than a few near-misses with uncompromising taxi drivers. When we return to the club L.A.M.F. UK are blasting their way through a set of Johnny Thunders songs, they're led by Mark who will transform himself into Steve Clones later in the evening, T.V. and myself agree that it all sounds a bit 'English' to have the Thunders swagger but the songs sound as great as ever.

An intro tape of patriotic music topped off with the unmistakable tones of Rotten and Vicious heralded the appearance of The Sex Pistols Experience - Johnny Rotter (Nathan) is uncannily like the real Rotten and although the crowd take a while to get going the atmosphere hots up as anthem after anthem roars out. The set finishes with 'God Save The Queen' and 'Anarchy In The U.K.' before Kid Vicious takes over - there are many like me that would argue that they should stick with the recordings made by the 'real' band but judging by the audience reaction the likes of 'My Way' and 'Something Else' certainly have their fans. Then it's announced that a 'legend' would be joining them on stage - T.V. fails to recognise Steve Dior who played with Sid in the post-Pistols bands but his version of 'Chinese Rocks' is arguably more convincing than the L.A.M.F. UK version earlier in the evening. Nathan appears to be ready to return but suddenly there's music over the P.A. and the show's over - which means it's our turn...

As we're setting up we both agree that it's been a long evening - some of the audience are leaving in search of their train home, although thankfully most stick around for our set. Those who are still there see a 13 song set that features 5 songs from the new album alongside 4 Adverts songs with the rest coming from T.V.'s solo career. From my point of view the nerves have all but gone although me until the end of the opening song 'No Time To Be 21' to get used to the sound - it's always different when there's an audience than when the venue's empty! - fortunately by the time we get into the new songs it's all more-or-less making sense to me. The new album is uniformly excellent, and despite the songs being unfamiliar to most of them the audience are appreciative, although you can feel the anticipation as the older songs grow ever nearer. Suddenly it's the 'Adverts Trilogy' ending of 'Gary Gilmore's Eyes', 'Bored Teenagers' and 'One Chord Wonders' and the crowd have got their reward for being good - our show ends with tumultuous applause and a shower of beer from the punks at the front. Clearly at £4 a pint they've all got enough money to literally throw it away.

Back in the bar it's just gone midnight and the bar's still open - Rikki from Red Flag 77 says hello with the somewhat insane news that when he first saw me earlier in the evening he'd thought I was Dave Ruffy! Strange but true... it being Record Store Day it was good to see the merchandise going well, and the evening ends with photo opportunities galore, most of which proved that I don't know how to work Gaye's or Nigel's cameras. But it had been a great evening, which ended for me with me back at home around 2 a.m. cleaning beer off my guitar- as I say, it's all glamour in the wild 'n' wacky world of showbusiness...

So - 2010 then...

If there's been a reoccurring theme among musicians this year (at least among the ones that I've talked to, although I read in the latest issue of the M.U. magazine 'The Musician' that even neo-legendary function band The Dark Blues have seen their bookings decrease) it's that there aren't as many gigs around these days as there were last year. Maybe the much-vaunted recession has hit us a year later than it hit everyone else? I haven't counted the shows but it certainly feels as though The Chicago Blues Brothers worked less than we ever have. Theatre work has all but dried up at the moment (although there's some in for next year) and corporate work is thinner on the ground; then again it was a great gig last night at The Pizza Express in Maidstone, a riotous show or as Squirrel put it, 'just like the old days'. Again I know a lot of people who didn't have a New Year's Eve gig this year so maybe we're not doing too badly after all?

On the other hand it's been a good year for The Upper Cut. We're playing well and getting gigs although we've got to somehow figure out how to get more - there's talk of doing some recording and getting a website sorted out, both of which should go some way towards getting more work. It's a great band to play in, and judging by the audience reaction we're doing something right - hopefully a good year is in prospect. And The Flying Squad should make a return appearance in the scheme of things at some point in the not-too-distant future - well we've got a gig in July!

On a personal level my most enjoyable gigs have probably been the ones with T.V. Smith. From playing a couple of impromptu numbers at The Load of Hay a couple of years ago we've developed a 90+ minute act that runs more-or-less chronologically through his songwriting career - and what songs they are. I wrote elsewhere in these hallowed pages of standing onstage in Leeds playing 'Borderline' and thinking that it just might be the best song that I'd ever played. Sitting here now it seems like a mad thing to say - there can't ever be a 'best' song can there? - but it was a real 'goose bump moment' if ever there was one. He's about to embark on a 'Best Of The Adverts' tour with The Valentines as well as releasing a new solo album so it's unlikely that we'll perform together until the summer at the earliest, but that's really something to look forward to, as indeed are the new album and the Adverts tour. And I enjoyed depping in The Ali Mac Band, Utter Madness and The F.B.I Band too - all totally different from each other, all good stuff all round.

Talking of The Load of Hay there have been some remarkable shows there in the past year - the ever-amazing Kris Dollimore continues to, well, amaze and Steve Simpson played a great show in November. But the most memorable night has to have been courtesy of John Otway 3 weeks ago, when he delivered his 'Christmas Lecture' to a packed audience, many of whom told me that it was one of the funniest things that they'd ever seen. Otway may have made a career out of (apparent) failure, but he certainly knows how to put a show together. Absolutely brilliant. I don't mind admitting that it often feels like something of a thankless task putting the gigs on there, but when you get nights like these it all feels worthwhile. And it was great to get The Blue Five back together too - we really must do that again sometime!

And then there was The Price. Sadly the word that comes to my mind here is 'disappointment'. It was our 25th birthday this year, and I for one had hoped that we'd have been able to play as many gigs as we could as well as writing some new songs and doing some recording - but it was not to be. In the last few months I've turned down some potentially great gigs and had to attempt to explain to gawd knows how many people why we're not playing at the moment ('but I thought you were going to be gigging a lot this year?') with the words 'have a look on the forum on our website'. I'm not known for quoting from The Bible but in this case something that I remember from one of my favourite ever films comes to mind - the 1980 Boer War film 'Breaker Morant' features an extraordinary performance from the late great Edward Woodwood in the title role; when asked what he'd like for an epitaph the character references Matthew 10:36 - 'and a man's foes shall be they of his own household'. I think I know how he felt... and yet The Price refuse to go away - when I played in Ipswich with T.V. Smith Rikki from Red Flag 77 to told me that we were one of the bands that inspired him to get a band together in the late '80's 'when there wasn't much good stuff around'. It sometimes felt as though no one was listening, but comments like that make you realise that they were, and that's something to be really proud of.

So - 2011 then...

Good times are back

A good gig for The Upper Cut at the Load of Hay last night, a bit under-attended (well it was cold outside and in, at least until Grant the landlord lit the fire) but great fun nonetheless. And it had been a good 3 days before that, playing gigs in Wellingborough, Ipswich and Shoreham with T.V. Smith. Here's what happened - well, here are the bits that I can remember, it seems ages ago now...

It being busy times at Balcony Shirts your humble narrator did Thursday morning behind the counter before buying a mobile phone charger (you always forget something don't you? Well - I do!) and heading off on the Metropolitan Line towards Kings Cross Station. Progress was slow but steady (anyone would think it had been snowing! Actually most people that I spoke to in the previous few days didn't think I'd make it as far as the train let alone going anywhere on it; why do we always think that everywhere grinds to a halt just because the media says it does?) and I was there around 20 minutes early for a projected 'about 1.45' meeting at St. Pancras with the man himself. I was just spending far too much money in The Camden Food Co. when T.V. arrived, and we were on the 2 o'clock Corby train with a few minutes to spare. My guitar wouldn't fit in the overhead racks (surely it's not that big? come to think of it my bag wouldn't fit either - maybe the rack was small? Mind you T.V's guitar fitted! Help!) so the nearby unreserved seat 53 became it's resting place for a journey that saw some beery blokes attempting to explain why their tickets weren't in order to a clearly unimpressed inspector (one of them said 'don't worry mate that's mine' when my guitar fell out of the seat; when I said that he didn't have to worry as it was actually mine he said 'well, you've got to try haven't you?' I despair of people sometimes) but was otherwise uneventful. As we stepped off the train at a freezing cold Kettering Station T. V. smiled and said 'welcome to the T.V. Smith touring experience'. Excellent!
We were originally booked to play at Sawyers in Kettering but sadly the venue has just closed; however promoters Bambi and Trina (both members of the excellent 'urban rail punk' band Eastfield) found an alternative venue in the shape of The Horseshoe Inn at nearby Wellingborough. Bambi met us at the station and we went back to his and Trina's house where support act and Blyth Power guitarist Steven Cooper was already present and correct. A couple of hours of coffee and television followed (I nearly typed 'Coffee and T.V.' there! Ooops!) with England's ill-fated bid to host the 2018 World Cup caused particular merriment, not least when Martin Peters said 'I'm gutted' just as T.V. said 'he'll say ''I'm gutted" in a minute'. As the commentator put it, 'the paint's hardly dry on the announcement yet!'
6 o'clock and with Trina staying at home nursing a bad leg it's off to the venue for the rest of us. The poster behind the D.J. booth said 'THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES' and although they seem to put bands on regularly at the venue it seems unlikely that they're of the punky variety. 'There'll be no one here so I'm applying the 5 pint rule' says Steven cheerily as he ordered his first drink, promising 4 more before his appearance - T.V. and myself soundchecked with 'Third Term' (T.V. noted that he was plugged into P.A. channels 2 and 6 - 'half a crown') before Steven sets up his amplifier ('I've hired it for £6!') and I walked down to the nearby kebab shop for some chips in a pitta bread. Well - you're allowed to eat stuff like that when you're on tour!
9.15 and with considerably more people in that he'd anticipated (many of the old Sawyers crowd had made the journey) Steven rather unsteadily took to the stage for a fine if rather, shall we say, loose set of original material. 'Am I slurring my words?' he asked smiling broadly; 'I was the 60th Whiskey Priest, the umpteenth Blyth Power guitarist at least' - now there's a chorus that only he could write! He also referred to T.V and myself as 'Jedward' on a number of occasions...
10.15 and we're on with 'No Time To Be 21'. We'd not had chance to rehearse together so had decided to stick to our 'chronological set' of the last few gigs, and with only a few moments of madness it all went rather well. I'd hoped to use my MXR Micro Amp pedal to boost the volume of my solos but that had refused to work at the soundcheck (good job I'd tried it then as it had worked fine at home) so I used the tried and trusted 'hit the stings harder during the solos' method - still I use it all the time when playing electrically so I'll have to either fix it or buy a new one. Bugger! Our set finished with the 'Adverts trilogy' of 'Gary Gilmore's Eyes', 'Bored Teenagers' and 'One Chord Wonders' to plenty of applause and at least one cry of 'awesome' from a younger audience member. A good first gig of 3.

I woke up the next morning at 10 o'clock, though I think that I'd have slept a lot longer if I hadn't set an alarm. I'd taken a sleeping bag and there were 2 quilts on the bed since there was no radiator in my room - I wasn't cold in the night but I guess with that lot on I shouldn't have been! When I went downstairs Bambi was loading footage of our gig onto his computer; whilst doing so he showed me some Sawyers footage, it looked like a really good venue but as he said, 'it's time to move on' Let's hope it works out for them in Wellingborough.
'What was going on at the end of 'Gary Gilmore' last night?' said T.V. rather pointedly; well I don't know so let's have a look at the footage... one too many riffs from the guitarist. It's a fair cop!
A thankfully recovered Trina dropped us at the station at 1 o'clock ('one down' said T.V. as we walked away from the car) where we learned that our train was delayed by 15 minutes. This gave us time for coffee and a scone (punk rock eh?!?) before heading over the bridge to catch our train back to St. Pancras. Yes, St. Pancras - strange as it may sound it's easier for us to go back to London then up to Ipswich than to cut across country directly. Given my storage problems on the way there we opted to use our reserved seats as luggage space and sit in nearby unreserved seats - T. V. produced a book written in German as I caught up on phone calls. From St. Pancras we made our way to Liverpool Street via the Underground where we checked the departures board - ominously there was no platform indicated for our train - and stocked up on caffeine. At 3.25 and with our train due in 5 minutes there are still no clues as to where we're leaving from - an announcement says that the 3.30 train is about to leave from platform 10 and panic grips the assembled multitude. Somehow we get on board just as the whistle blows - as the train pulls away I make vain attempts to store my guitar on the crowded carriage, eventually (almost) wedging it in a luggage rack with my bag and sitting as near as I can to it so that I can keep an eye on it. We had reserved seats elsewhere on the carriage (mine was C60 - one for the cassette users among us!) but the ensuing chaos meant that things had descended into a free-for-all with people saying things like 'there are no reserved seats on delayed trains' as they elbowed people out of their way. As I say, I despair of people sometimes... 'welcome aboard the delayed 15.30 train to Norwich' said a cheery voice, before saying something about 'signaling problems at Ipswich'. At least he had his seat.
As we pulled in to Ipswich Station T.V. phoned the venue to tell them that we'd arrived. He came off the phone with the words ' look out for the blue Escort'. Outside the station the snow was thicker than we'd seen up until this point on our travels, and there were cars, taxis and buses everywhere in a 'it's-nearly-5 o'clock-on-a-Friday-evening' state of near-emergency. We managed to signal our presence to the blue Escort before it got caught in the chaos, and we arrived at The Steamboat Tavern a few minutes later where Val the landlady showed us to our rooms (to be precise she showed me as T.V. has played and stayed there many times before) then offered make us some food which we were both very grateful for - it had been a long time since the scones.
Soundcheck time - Rikki from Red Flag 77 is running the gig, and also on the bill is the splendidly named Ed Ache (yes!) and local poet Rowan. I lent Ed a lead so that he could use an in-line guitar tuner, and with him due on at 8.30 we're given a stage time of 9.45 with Rowan doing a set inbetween our 2 acts. With quite a few people in Ed in onstage on time, he's got dreadlocks down to his knees and uses a ukulele for the first few songs and an acoustic guitar for the rest, both of which sound like a chainsaw as he roars through his material with great energy. 'Here's another song about having no money, it's called "£12.50 a day" - he's going down well and the atmosphere is good with a great evening in prospect, when suddenly the lights go out, the P.A. goes off and the initial audience cry of 'Whay-hay!' is replaced by confused murmurings. I look out of the window at the flats opposite, there are lights on so it can't be too bad - or is that emergency lighting on the stairs? Bar staff with torches eye the fuse box warily as Val produces a bewildering amount of candles and people wonder if they can still get a drink or not. Ed carries on singing then Rowan bravely begins his set, gripping his pint glass like his life depended on it as people struggle to hear him. Meanwhile people are asking how come the lights are still on in the toilets as T.V. and myself wonder what to do - do we go on or do we wait to see if the power returns? We're at the bar speculating furiously when there's a sudden burst of light, then darkness again, then light again with another cry of 'Whay-hay!' - people start blowing candles out as we get ourselves ready to play. 'No Time To Be 21' ends to relieved applause, it's all going to be alright and everything's going great until 'The Suit' when the power suddenly dips for a split-second, then again a few seconds later, no 'Whay-hay!' this time but we get to the end of the song in one piece. 'Runaway Train Driver' sees a conga around the pub (Val banned them from going outside as it was too dangerous!) and the Adverts Trilogy sees more than a little pogoing. Great stuff, although I can't help wondering what I would be typing if the power hadn't come back on...
After the show it's time for a drink, and with Me First and The Gimme Gimmes on the Cd player everyone seems relieved that it all went well in the end. T.V. and myself sign birthday boy Stalkie's gig poster as an 'are Gogol Bordello any good?' debate begins and Rikki attempts to tell us about his 'other' band The East Town Pirates - 'we get called ''The East End Pirates'', I mean what's that all about, do people think we're going to go "da da da da daa daa daaa" then shout "OOO AH ME HEARTIES'?'

Saturday began with coffee and Marmite on toast - a good start. T.V. sits changing his strings as we talk through the day to come - catch the train down to Stratford, then from there T.V. is off to do a late afternoon solo gig in Hove before meeting myself and the long-suffering Shirley in Shoreham for our evening show there. Baz gives us a lift to the station, it's busy as Ipswich are at home to Swansea but we get there in time for the 12.08 to Stratford - which is of course delayed to 12.30. A man asks me if I'm 'on the fiddle' as I'm getting my ticket out, I misheard him and thought he'd said something about the football but he points at my guitar case and looks pleased with himself. I smile and join T. V. on the platform, pausing to read the 'leaf fall update' by the ticket machines - it seems that they've 'implicated an extensive line side vegetation management programme' which I guess means that it's not leaves causing all these delays then... on the platform the '2010 Timetable Change Surgery' notice sits next to the 'New Footbridge and Lift' information which thanks us all for our 'support and co-operation while we undergo the enhancements'. Hmm...
With the platform full of Swansea City fans our train arrives in the nick of time.It's not too full so we anarchically choose seats in coach F instead of our allotted coach C (punk rock eh?!? Mind you T.V. was now reading Steve Ignorant's book so maybe anarchy really was in the air...) and, passing through T.V.'s birthplace Romford on the way, arrive at a busy Stratford Station without any problems. The Central Line train back into town is full as quite a few of the other lines aren't running due to maintenance work (how annoying is that every weekend?) and I'm very relieved to meet Shirley at West Ruislip Station where we make a detour to drop some posters off at The Bell in Ruislip for the upcoming Upper Cut show there this Friday before coming home. A shower and some food are both much needed from my point of view, and at 6 o'clock we leave to wind our way down to Shoreham. As we pull up outside the Duke Of Wellington it's pouring down with rain, we're steeling ourselves to get indoors as quickly as we can when a bedraggled Attila The Stockbroker arrives on a bicycle carrying a violin. We go inside to find him and T.V. ordering drinks, the pub has an excellent selection of real ales which Attila is something of an expert on. We set up and soundcheck in no time, and Peter from Peter and The Test Tube Babies arrives just as we finish. I attempt to describe his band to Shirley but give up after telling her the title of their first album... by the time we go on there are a few people in including ex-Blyth Power guitarist Wob who I'd not seen for ages abut who now works behind the bar at the pub. Attila is right at the front for most of our set singing along, he joins us on violin for 'Lion And The Lamb' and 'Runaway Train Driver' in the middle of our set and 'One Chord Wonders' at the end, he speaks emotively about how T.V. inspired and continues to inspire him, eventually persuading T.V. to play 'Not In My Name' to end a great gig, in fact a 3 great gigs which I'll remember for a very long time. And talking of remembering things...

I was at an Attila gig sometime in the late '80's, I think at the Mean Fiddler Acoustic Room although I could be wrong there; Attila said something like 'I'm going to play a song by one of Britain's greatest ever songwriters' before performing 'The Suit' on mandola. One of the people I was with asked who T.V. Smith was - I turned to them and said words to the effect of 'you must heard of T.V. Smith, he was in The Adverts, a great songwriter, a genius in fact...' and as I said it I realised he and Gaye Advert were standing right behind us. I think I managed an awkward hello and then said 'well - you are!'

He doesn't remember it happening, but I do. I've just played 3 gigs with him, and as I say, I'll remember them too.