You cannot be serious!

In writing these (ahem!) hallowed pages I quite often find myself recounting things that when I read back through them seem scarcely believable - but an incident that occurred at The Upper Cut's performance on Saturday evening at The Halfway House in Barnes has to go down as one of the best. There I was at the bar with Scots Kenny, the always-genial mate of UC bassman Terry discussing of all things The Motors (and why not? They were great weren't they?!?) when we were approached by a man who I will politely describe as 'odious'. Sorry to have to say that but, well, he just was. Nasty, bitter, rude - it was written all over him. You and indeed I sadly meet people like that sometimes don't you? He cared not a jot for the fact that Kenny and myself were having a private conversation but instead interrupted and weighed in with the line 'you should be enhancing my evening but you're coming close to ruining it'. At first I thought that perhaps he'd heard what we'd been saying and wasn't a Motors fan (in which case he'd obviously be a total git - after all, who doesn't like The Motors?) but when he followed it up with 'let me give you some advice' I knew we were in for an entertaining time. He went on to tell Kenny that although he was 'quite a good singer' his vocals were so loud that they were giving him a headache. Although struggling to keep a straight face (well, I certainly was!) we politely agreed to turn Kenny's vocals down in our second set - meaning that we of course left our singer Terry's setting where they were. So what happened next? You've guessed it, our friendly neighbourhood buffoon approached the band (and specifically Terry, who remember had been lucky enough not to have spoken to him up until this point in proceedings) and threatened all manner of terrifying actions if we didn't turn the vocals down. I briefly considered a comment along the lines of 'listen mate, I don't come around to your work and tell you how to do things, so don't come around to mine' but instead Terry told him where to go in no uncertain terms - after which the landlady came over to ask him to leave us alone before giving us the frankly astonishing news that he used to be a Wimbledon umpire and was well-known in the area for having been insulted by John McEnroe back in the day. Like I say I sometimes have trouble believing the stuff that I write here... leaving aside that idiot's antics (I'm sure a couple of people clapped as he walked out of the door a few songs later!) it was a good night - our first gig at the venue ended with barmaids dancing on the table and us being rebooked. And for the record, I didn't think that we were too loud, but I suppose that I wouldn't would I?

I dread to think what Mr. Miserable would have made of the previous evening's entertainment at The 100 Club, where The Cockney Rejects had roared through a blistering hour-or-so set in front of a sold out crowd of diehard fans, all of whom seemed to know ever word of every song and who gave them the sort of reception that their performance thoroughly deserved. I arrived just in time to miss the first band 16 Guns (sorry lads!) as I had been to meet Richard and Blaise from Cadiz Music in The Ship in Wardour Street where I received the sad news that the pub was about to close for several weeks before reopening as a gastropub. Bugger! How many more landmark establishments will we lose in the name of so-called 'progress'? I however did see a splendid set from The Morgellons (let's face it, any band who plays 'The Blank Generation' has to be worth a look!) and a not-such-splendid set from The East End Badoes although in the latter's defence I did spend much of their time on stage catching up with various people so perhaps I should not be quite so judgemental (for once!) about them.

The previous day Segs and myself had met up to review some ideas for new Ruts D.C. songs - we worked on some chords sequences, recorded two rough demos and looked at any number of lyrical ideas so the day was certainly a success on pretty much every level. The band is about to announce a batch of shows for the Autumn including some in far-flung and in my case previously unchartered territories - watch this space, as they (whoever 'they' are) say... and we're playing at The Corn Exchange in Bedford with The Neville Staple Band this Saturday which has all the makings of a classic evening.

And it was a classic day yesterday when The London Sewage Company recorded 5 songs at The Brook in Wallington. Engineer Andy does a fair bit of work with Status Quo, and as I did a fair bit of work with Pip Williams back in the '90s we had plenty to talk about - progress was swift and although the tracks have yet to be mixed it looks as though they should turn out well. Game, set and match, you might say...

Quo vadis?

I'd made enough of a recovery from the dreaded food poisoning by Tuesday to journey to Guildford to see The Stranglers supported by Nine Below Zero at G-Live. Nine Below Zero sounded pretty much how they sounded when I saw them in Watford before Christmas i.e. excellent if a little slower than I remember them sounding back in the day. Dennis Greaves still plays the cheeky chappie persona well, and remains an underrated singer and guitarist. I don't think I can recall seeing him play a Telecaster before although it sounded good to me, and I was close enough to the stage to hear him telling the band off a couple of times when they made mistakes - clearly not a cheeky chappie all the time then! Meanwhile The Stranglers were celebrating their 40th year as a band with a two hour long set that (I'm told) included at least one song from each of their 17 albums and which featured a three song-long mid-set appearance from veteran drummer Jet Black, which I believe is a rare occurrence these days. The audience seemed somewhat subdued until he began 'Golden Brown'; after 'Always The Sun' and 'Genetix' he left the stage to tumultuous applause after which the audience then seemed to me at least to return to their subdued selves. Strange - mind you I don't think I was the only person there that found the four screens suspended above the band to be something of a distraction during some songs. Still by the time we got to 'Five Minutes' and 'Hanging Around' things were getting a bit more lively, and the final encore of 'Tank' bought the proverbial house down. A good evening.

Friday Big Al Reed and The Blistering Buicks returned to The Crown in Cowley for the first time since Christmas Eve. That was a suitably noisy evening, this was rather quieter both in terms of audience numbers and band volume. We'd heard that there had been a few complaints from neighbours so both Pete and myself decided to take smaller amplifiers in an attempt to keep the noise down, and it certainly seemed to work as there were no complaints this time. Well, not to our faces anyway! When you play quieter than usual it can sometimes lead to a scrappy performance due to people not being able to play 'properly', and while there was the odd wrong turning here and there overall it was a good gig. We could have done with a few more people there though - I'm told that when the band played without me the next night several hundred yards down the road at The Three Steps it was an altogether more raucous affair. I was at The Brunswick in Hove playing a Teenage Cancer Trust benefit show with Back To Zero. We arrived just in time to miss Robby Allen And the Kite Collectors - a shame since I really enjoyed them when we played with them in Stoke back in February although I did manage to by their (excellent) album 'Mildred's Room'; I did manage to catch most of The Hiwatts's set of mod and mod-related covers before going off in search of food. The Legendary Groovymen, The Loop, The SuperMinx70 and The Past Tense all delivered strong sets, but sadly by the time we went on things were running a bit late and we were obliged to not only cut our set down but also finish before we were due to play 'Your Side Of Heaven', a situation which left some audience members somewhat disgruntled. I must admit it was all a bit frustrating in the end from our point of view, but hopefully they managed to raise some money for a very worthwhile cause. 

On Sunday afternoon I accompanied Big Al Reed in his 1959 Cadillac (!) to The Sportsman in Croxley Green for a jam session that featured among others High Voltage, some Swedish friends of Good Old Boys guitarist Pete Parks - I believe he goes out there and plays several times a year and organises shows over here for them in return. When we arrived High Voltage were roaring through an AC/DC song or two, and sounding very good indeed; later Al and I joined Pete on guitar, Bill on bass and the drummer from High Voltage (I can't remember his name! Sorry!) to play 'Peter Gunn' and 'Why Why Me', and jolly good fun it was too. 

If you're my age you've got to like Status Quo, or at the very least have a soft spot for them. Well I think that you have - I can remember seeing them on 'Top Of The Pops' when I was a lad playing songs like 'Caroline' and 'Down Down' and thinking that this rock 'n' roll lark looked like a pretty good thing to be involved in. Even my mum and dad liked them. With this in mind a chance to see the original line-up (the so-called 'Frantic Four') at The Hammersmith Odeon (or whatever the hell it's called these days!) seemed like too good an opportunity to miss, not least because the mighty Wilko Johnson was supporting. He sounded as great as ever - actually he sounded even greater than ever, with his 45 minute set going down so well that he could perhaps have played an encore. Everyone seems to love Wilko these days - as we all know his profile has been higher than ever since he was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and let's hope he continues to play for a very long time yet. And what can I say about Status Quo that hasn't already been said? Terms like 'industry standard' don't cover it - they sounded, well, exactly like Status Quo should sound, with Rick Parfitt's rhythm playing remaining one of the touchstones of British rock'n'roll guitar and the band reminding everyone present why they liked them in the first place. There could have been a few more hits (I believe the set was based around the 'Live!' album) but I think the current line-up plays them so I guess this was a night for diehards and old fans rather than followers of the chart material. But however you look at it they sounded great - and I imagine that they always did. There are some things in life that you can rely upon, and I'd say that Status Quo are one of them. And that's alright don't you think?