You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish

It was straight back to basics after the euphoria of Thursday night, with a short notice Upper Cut gig at Buckinghamshire Golf Club on Friday evening. We played at Grant's 40th birthday party last March - I received a call a few days ago from him asking if we'd be interested in playing on Friday at a party at the club, and with none of us gigging elsewhere the only possible answer was 'yes'... it turned out to be a most enjoyable evening, as did the next night when Big Al Reed and The Blistering Buicks played at The King's Arms in Harefield. It's usually a lively night there, and this was no exception with the band playing well and Al on fine form as ever.

The Move have for me always been a criminally underrated band. I can just about remember them from back in the day although I was very young, but in the early '70s Wizzard and The Electric Light Orchestra made regular appearances on 'Top Of The Pops' and both big favourites of mine at the time. When I found that that Roy Wood and Jeff Lynne had both been in The Move I backtracked and (re)discovered such wonderful records as 'Fire Brigade' and 'Blackberry Way' alongside less well-known tracks like 'Kilroy Was Here' and 'Cherry Blossom Clinic'. Great stuff in my not-so-humble opinion, which was why the chance to see them play at Tropic At Ruislip on Sunday evening was definitely one  not to be missed. Support came from Mods And Sods, whose 40-odd minute set of '60s covers warmed the crowd up for the main event; opening with 'I Can Hear The Grass Grow' The Move played a fine set that included 'Brontosaurus', 'Flowers In the Rain' and 'California Man' and reminded everyone present how many classic songs they recorded and released and just what a great band they were and indeed are. Original members Bev Bevan and Trevor Burton told some excellent stories and it was a great evening all round, which was only soured a bit for me by a rather odd moment that happened to me during Mods And Sods's set; their guitarist was tuning up (and having a bit of trouble doing so) when a 'friend' of mine (I use the term loosely - it's someone I've encountered here and there over the years and who finds himself at this particular venue on a regular basis) came over and said 'he's got the same approach to tuning as you - non-existent'. Because it was hard to hear him (well there was somebody tuning a guitar in the background!) I asked him to repeat it - when he said it again I realised that I basically had three choices :- 

(a) wallop him
(b) say something suitably rude and / or unpleasant and then wallop him
(c) ignore him and hope that he'd go away

As I decided that I had no real want to be banned from the venue for causing a punch up (after all, he might have hit me back! And on a more serious note, I also didn't want to risk injuring my hands...) I, for better or worse. went for (c) although typing this now at least part of me wishes that I'd gone for (a) or indeed (b). Ah well - there's always next time... but I've had a few odd comments lately, mostly sneaky putdowns (this isn't the first reference to me not being able to tune my guitar, for example) from people who really should know better. They wouldn't be jealous of little old me now would they? After all next Friday while my 'friend' will no doubt be all but suffocating in his own cynicism in Ruislip I'll be gigging in front of several thousand people with Ruts D.C. in Serbia... and as I came off stage at The 12 Bar Club last night after joining Segs to play 'Babylon's Burning' with The Duel at the last of the FFRUK Reggae Punk Monday nights and went back to talking to the very nice young lady that I'd just met at the bar I wondered how much better things might have gone for me if I'd learned how to tune up... 

God only knows

Well I certainly wasn't expecting the comment that the last posting received - is that religious spam? I actually thought someone might have a go at me - reading it again I'm not sure that they didn't! And yeah, I know it's a cheap shot to have a go at the Royal Wedding, but just because something's an easy target it doesn't mean that it shouldn't be hit. Which reminds me, Lord Young has become the latest top Tory (a bit of a contradiction in terms?) who's had to resign after his remarks regarding the 'so-called recession'. Remind me again why any working class person thought that it would be a good idea to vote Conservative?

Ok, more moaning - I tuned into one of the music channels that we all seem to have on the T.V. on the other day to be confronted by the sight of the excellent - maybe that should be formerly excellent? - Roy Wood in seasonal mode. Could the man who wrote all those great songs with The Move and Wizzard really do a medley of 'I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday' and 'Wombling Merry Christmas' with those rock gods The Wombles? Sadly he could, and even more sadly he did. Awful. Awful. But not as awful as the next song, 'Firework' by Katy Perry. The combination of intelligence-insulting lyrics and banal half-finished sounding music might actually be the worst recording I've ever heard. It makes 'Mull Of Kintyre' sound like 'My Generation', and Keane sound like The Clash. I would have switched channels or left the room but it was so terrible that I felt as though it was something I needed to endure as some sort of bizarre rite of passage before I could listen to something decent. Even the bit in the video where her chest emits sparks couldn't rescue it. Totally and utterly appalling.

Then again, what do I know? I'm supposed to be a musician but I'm only playing a grand total of 2 - count 'em, 2! - gigs this month, and one of them was a short notice 'can-you-lot-fill-in-for-a-band-that's-cancelled?' show with The Upper Cut on Saturday at After Office Hours in Barnet. Our first set saw dancing in the first song and a fair amount from then on in - a guy out of the audience kept asking us if he could sing 'Brown Eyed Girl' with us - Terry the singer let him have a go and he made a reasonable job of the bits he knew; sadly for the rest of the time he was reduced to roaring 'I DUNNO THE FARKING WORDS TO VIS BIT' which his mates found hilarious. Maybe it was? I'll never know why people like him do this sort of thing to themselves. Mind you I'm not entirely sure why people like us let them. Still, a good gig overall and we were offered a return date next month which I sadly can't do as I'm gigging with T.V. Smith that night. It's always the same isn't it? - none for ages and then 2 come along at once...

Sunday it was time for a return visit to The Load of Hay for the ever-excellent Kris Dollimore. Since his last visit he's been spending a fair bit of time playing out in France (click here for a clip of him on French T.V) as well as recording a new album which judging by the new songs played at last night's performance will be his best yet. In a new departure he used a looper pedal to create drone effects during some of the songs, which he'd been apprehensive about before the gig but I thought sounded terrific particularly on 'The Mercy Man'. I've never seen him do a bad show but when he pronounced himself happy with his performance I knew that this one had been outstanding. Wonderful stuff - I think he could have made even 'Firework' sound like a classic. Well maybe not, but you get the idea.

Right, time to stop moaning (for once!) and to get practicing some guitar. When there are not too many gigs about it's important to stay match fit for when the phone rings. Assuming it does of course...