'Where am I?' 'In the village...'

Have you ever seen 'The Prisoner'? Of course you have. You know the opening sequence where Patrick McGoohan / number 6 wakes up in what he thinks is his home but then looks out of the windows and discovers that he's somewhere that he doesn't recognise? Well I know how he feels...

As you may be aware Ruts D.C. are currently supporting The Damned on their U.K. tour. We've been travelling on two tour buses (us and the crew on one, The Damned and co. on the other) with 12 bunk beds on each. We generally leave the venue at 2 am and travel through the night - meaning that you wake up somewhere new each day. To begin with I found this rather disorientating, but it's amazing how quickly you adapt to it. Well, I've found that I've adapted quickly, to the extent that as I write this I'm wondering how I'm going to return to a 'normal' life. Mind you, I don't really have a normal life, so I think I'll stop wondering how I'm going to return to it... but a few people have asked me how this touring lark all works, so I thought I'd have a go at writing about it here. The day generally goes something like this :-

Wake up. That's a relief, as it means that we got there in one piece.

Clamber out of the bunk and attempt to find your clothes. They're exactly where you left them last night, but where was that? You could do with a bit more light sometimes; well I certainly could - either that or I need to get some glasses that I can actually see though instead of the ones that I've currently got.

Time for some breakfast. This generally involves stumbling into town (I've often teamed up with Captain Sensible's guitar tech Jon) and trying to find some food that you like the look of and, maybe more importantly, can afford. As a namby pamby poncey vegetarian this often means that I eat too many eggs (and we all know what that can cause now don't we children?) and / or beans on toast (and you know what that can cause too...) Hardly the end of the world, but you do find yourself wishing for something different sometimes. Still there's always the porridge at Yates's - which reminds me, have you ever noticed how many of the young ladies who work behind the bar in Yates's have tattoos on their hands? You haven't? Maybe it's just me.

With load-in due at one o'clock most afternoons you then (depending on what time you got up of course) have a choice. I generally try to have a look a round town (is there a guitar shop? There go the wages!) as it's nice to get an idea about where you are, and then see if the venue is open; there's no shower on the bus but there's usually one somewhere backstage. I generally try to have one as soon as I can - there are a lot of people in the buses, and most if not all of them will want to use it at some point. In the meantime you can read, go back to sleep, make phone calls, catch up on emails, try to write a song, have some more food, hurry up and wait...

The Damned soundcheck usually starts at 4pm. I tend to check my guitar and equipment around this time, and if necessary change the strings (perhaps it would be better to do that earlier in the day Leigh, it might stay in tune better during the show?) as well as checking that all the leads on my pedal board are plugged in and in good shape. Our soundcheck is at half past five so I've got a fair bit of time to check things over, which is good as you don't want things going wrong during the show. We've been going on between 7.45 and 8pm each night, so after the soundcheck is over there's time to get changed for the show (if you're getting changed for the show) and work a set out, unless we're using the same one as the previous show. I'm pleased to say that the gigs have been going really well for us, and after in-ear monitor problems somewhat scuppered their first show of the tour in Bristol The Damned have been on top form with their shows getting better and better. I've always been a big fan, and this tour has done nothing to change that. Nice chaps too.

After their set I generally find myself behind the merchandise stall; Dave, Segs and Molara have been joining me to sign stuff and talk to people, and sometimes Captain Sensible shows up too. Good fun. Meanwhile the crew (Martin, Jon, Alex and Todd) put the gear away and into the respective tour buses and trailer, then if there's a local hostelry open it's time for a drink or two. And why not?

2 am and the buses leave for the next venue. Time for some sleep before the theme from 'The Prisoner' plays again... 

And don't forget that Dave and Segs have been writing a daily tour diary for Louder Than War; it's also on the band's Facebook page which you can find here...

'If you must write prose and poems, the words you use should be your own...'

Sad news - Tim Cross has died. In addition to being T.V. Smith's long-time musical collaborator (an association that goes all the way back to the second Adverts album 'Cast Of Thousands') he also worked with artists as diverse as Fleetwood Mac, Mike Oldfield and The Skids. There's an excellent Louder than War piece on him here, and a thread on T.V.'s website forum here shows just how much the fans thought of him. A very sad loss.


Malcolm Owen died 32 years ago on Saturday (32 years! Doesn't time fly when you're having fun? Actually it still flies when you're not having fun as well...) so this seems like a good time to mention that a Facebook page has been set up as a tribute - you can find it here, and although I'm not the World's biggest Facebook fan I must say that it's great to see that one of the greatest punk rock frontmen of them all hasn't been forgotten.

In the meantime your humble narrator has been guilty of the sin of counting his chickens before they were hatched (I'd changed my guitar strings and everything!) by saying in these hallowed pages that he had a gig with Utter Madness this week; it was due to be an outdoor show (you know what's coming next now don't you?) at Cliveden House on Friday, and it was cancelled on the morning of the event due to the house grounds being waterlogged. Bugger! Now I really am taking this personally... given the atrocious weather we've been having lately I guess it's hardly surprising, but it's disappointing all the same. And that means I've had getting on for 30 shows cancelled in the last couple of months! No wonder I've got no money... still Wednesday's Flying Squad rehearsal went well (we've got a show next month with Clash tribute band The Clashed at Tropic At Ruislip) and I'm gigging with Ruts D.C. this coming week (indeed I'm leaving for rehearsal when I finish typing this) so that's something to really look forward to. As I said last time - you have to stay optimistic...

And last night it was time for my my latest stint on Music Scene Investigation. I made a 'surprise' appearance last month (it was the night England played Italy in the European Championships which might have had an adverse effect on their ability to get a guest that night?!?) and I always enjoy contributing to the show as if nothing else it's helped me more-or-less understand what a podcast is! The three songs presented to us this time were probably the most, shall we say, challenging ones that I've yet encountered:- 'song 1' was instrumental apart from a voiceover in the middle and sounded like it had been mixed by Beethoven, 'song 2' featured a woefully out of tune guitar and 'song 3' was of such poor audio quality that it was hard to tell exactly what was going on*. By default we voted the first one 'Song Of The Week' but it was very much the lesser of three evils. Still it was an enjoyable show (from my point of view at least!) and plans are afoot for me to make more contributions to the website - more news as and when I have it, as they say...
*And we've since discovered that this track contained a sample from an Adele track, and as such was illegible for inclusion in the programme. We were trying to work out what it had reminded us of! 

Senses working overtime

So - I just manage to shake off the nasties in my stomach, and then I wake up on Friday morning unable to hear out of my right ear. Not a good situation at the best of times, and definitely not good for somebody attempting to make a living playing music. I know what the problem is - it's earwax, and rather a lot of it. Urgh! Given the abuse I've subjected my hearing to over the years I suppose it's all but inevitable that I get periodic problems of this nature, and this is certainly one of those times. I've bought some of that stuff from the chemist that's supposed to get rid of it, and at the moment it's one of those things that gets worse before it gets better, meaning that I had bad hearing yesterday and I've got really bad hearing today. Rather ironic don't you think?

I've managed to stumble my way through two gigs in this disadvantaged state this weekend, the first of which was depping with The Briefcase Blues Brothers at The Seacombe Theatre in Sutton. As soon as the show began I realised that my ear was making me feel as though I had a bell jar in my head - not that I've spent much time with a bell jar on my head, but you know what I mean. Not only was it was hard for me to hear what I myself was playing (a recipe for breaking strings if ever there was one, as you start hitting them harder than you should) but I could only hear the band as a muffled, rather distant whole as opposed to being able to hear the instruments individually. I was just getting used to watching rather than listening to what people were playing when all the stage lights went out during 'In The Midnight Hour' - at first I wondered if it was an attempt on the part of the lighting man to reflect the idea of it being dark at midnight (I spoke to him afterwards - it wasn't!) but fairly soon realised that not being able to hear or see the band was a particularly perilous situation and one which I was only able to get through by mostly using open chords which can be found by feel. After what felt like ages (but was probably only a few seconds) the lights came back on again to the collective relief of all concerned, and the rest of the show proceeded without to much incident. I hadn't played with The B.B.B.'s since before Christmas, and it was good to catch up with them all again - I had a good chat with keyboard maestro Wayne 'son-of-Albert' Lee afterwards who told me that his dad is doing some shows with James Burton later this year which could be well worth catching for a blitz of country rock guitar.

Sunday night The Rikardo Brothers returned to Uxbridge for a gig at The Load of Hay. As we started our first set there were a grand total of four (count 'em, four) people watching us; by the second set that had risen to eight which I suppose if you look on the bright side means that our audience had increased by 100% during our performance but realistically is at best disappointing and at worst utterly depressing - as Alan put it, it was 'a bit like playing to a furniture exhibition'. Still we played well and I for one thoroughly enjoyed myself although I sadly can't see shows continuing at The Load of Hay if audience numbers don't improve. Shame... but if they do stop and people then moan at me about there being no music on there Sunday evenings then I may not be responsible for what I say next.

Talking of saying things I've just spent the last two days in Balcony Shirts turning my left ear towards customers and asking them to repeat what they'd just said. Incredibly some people still bought things. Good! Now if you excuse me I'm just off to put some more of that stuff in my ear...

The song remains the same

I don't know about you but I don't know much about Twitter; I believe young people and / or itinerant celebrities use it all the time to tell each other (and indeed the rest of the World's, er, 'tweeters') what they're doing at that precise moment in time. We have what I believe is called a 'feed' at Balcony Shirts, and last week Scott 'tweeted' (I'm getting good at the terminology if nothing else!) the following message:-

Is selling ukulele's in a t-shirt shop (a) weird? (b) good? (c) stupid?

Well I guess time will tell as to which answer is correct but, strange as it may seem, we are now selling ukuleles and other assorted musical instrument accessories in our Uxbridge shop. We're hoping to have some guitars in before long, and who knows where it will lead from there?
I must admit that, almost exactly a year to the day after my departure from Pro Music (I really must tell you what happened there mustn't I? Actually that reminds me, I spoke to someone the other day who said that they'd stopped going in there since the staff 'talk so much shit'. Hmm... perhaps we're starting this up at just the right time!) it was a strange feeling to be unpacking guitar leads and plectrums again - not a bad feeling, just strange. As I put together the counter display I couldn't help but smile. When we sold 4 (count them - four!) plectrums I couldn't help but smile some more. It's good to be back, if you know what I mean. Feel free to tweet that if you please; better still come in and see us - we'll do our best to talk sense.