It seems like only yesterday that I was moaning on about having just had a tooth out but it was actually back in September ('Tooth Fairy'). Doesn't time fly when you're having fun eh? Still, here we go again...
CHRIST MY BLOODY FACE HURTS!
But I guess it should- this time it took two of 'em 40-something minutes to tear an otherwise innocent looking little toothy peg from my lower left jaw. That's a 40-something minute glimpse into what awaits us all in hell- bone crunching, toe curling, stomach turning hell my friends.
'Don't worry' said the cheery, really rather good looking young Indian lady who'd just tested the strength of my jawbone virtually to destruction, 'you've still got over 20 left'.
Well, yes, she's right. But only until she gets hold of them.
'You two seem like really nice people' I heard myself say. 'So why do you do this?'
Neither of them answered. Then again that's what I thought I said to them. What actually came out of my mouth was probably just a noise.
'Here you are' she said, handing me one of those antiseptic tissues that you never normally have handy when you need one, 'we can't have you leaving here looking like a vampire can we?'.
No, I suppose not. Mind you, it might have been a laugh.
All of that was yesterday. Today it just hurts. I've taken enough painkillers to knock Pete Doherty over but to no avail- it still feels like someone's ripped something out of my face. Funny that.
Only one course of action can possibly remain- to the pub with East (Price webmaster and merchandise supremo). I believe they sell anaesthetic there.