Clash city rockers

'Wild punk rockers smash up theatre'
- now that's a headline!

Now here's a sight that's absolutely guaranteed to have sad men like me blubbing like a girly in seconds - yes it's three electric guitars, but not any old three electric guitars. Oh no. On the left a 1959 Les Paul Junior owned by Mick Jones, in the middle Joe Strummer's iconic 'Ignore Alien Orders' Telecaster (click here for the story of the instrument) and on the right Paul Simonon's Fender bass, all of which are currently to be found in The Clash pop-up shop at 75 Berwick Street. The exhibition marks the release on the 'Sound System' box set which contains pretty much everything that the band released during it's lifetime as well as outtakes, unreleased songs and video material; also on display are record covers, handwritten setlists, the famous 'London Calling' smashed bass (I would have taken a picture but I couldn't get near it!) and lots more besides. It's only there until next Sunday and it's well worth a visit. Mind you, I would say that wouldn't I? And I wonder what happened to Topper Headon's drumkit? 

Well it's Sunday evening and I'm already home from gigging - this has been happening a fair bit lately but I'm still not used to it! But it was a cracking gig this, er, afternoon at The Horns in Watford where I was depping in The Good Old Boys. With Hud away elsewhere Chris Hunt stepped in on drums - I played a few shows with him many years ago with Dave Finnegan's Commitments, and although I've send him play occasionally since then I'd all but forgotten what an incredibly powerful drummer he is. Teaming him with bass hero Nick Simper made for an absolutely extraordinary rhythm section, and with band stalwarts Alan Barratt on vocals and Pete Parks on guitar on top form throughout it was a thoroughly enjoyable show to be part of. It's good when that happens - and it was a good show on Saturday night too when Big Al Reed and the Blistering Buicks made a return visit to The Admiral Nelson in Twickenham. My good friend Pete has been depping for the band while I've been away with Ruts D.C. - he joined us for a few numbers at this show and sounded as though he'd really got hold of the material, as indeed did the rest of the band which is going from strength to strength. There are plenty of gigs coming in too - I wonder how many I'll play and how many I'll be asking Pete to do?
The answer to that question depends largely on what happens next with Ruts D.C. - and on the evidence of Friday's show at Sub89 in Reading that could well turn out to be a fascinating question. First things first though - what an absolutely superb venue Sub 89 is, with a good sized stage, great sound system and very helpful staff. Everything ran smoothly from the word go, the band played a hour-and-a-bit long set to an increasingly appreciative audience, and talking to people afterwards everyone seemed to think that we'd given a great show. And without wishing to sound too big headed - we had! You know when you play a good one, and this was definitely a good one  - our driver Marc hadn't seen us for a few months and told me that he was amazed at how the band had progressed in the interim period. We're off to Germany for 4 shows this week then up to Scotland next weekend before we start looking forward to the Damned tour in November and December, and with things already being planned for next year the future for the band is looking very interesting indeed. Well, let's hope so anyway.

In the meantime I'm off to bed - it's bloomin' tiring this gigging lark you know, even when you are home early...

Stop press! On Monday the always-worth-a-read Retro Man blog published a review of our Reading show which you can find here - and as I say, the rest of the blog is well worth checking out too.

Music ruined my life - it's official!

Now here's a funny thing - the always-excellent Music Ruined My Life blog has posted a piece on the first single from me and my old buddies The Price - I must admit it's a bit of an inside job as I sent him the information when he requested it but it's still amazing to see it there all of (gulp!) 25 years since it was released. Have a look and indeed a listen here and see what you think.

On Wednesdays your humble narrator journeyed across London to Back To Zero Headquarters (hereinafter referred to as 'BTZ HQ') to spray some hot guitar (oooh I wish I'd thought of that line! Sadly I didn't - but there's 10 points for you if you know who did! I'll give you the answer at the end of this posting...) new album. Yes that's right, our new album. It's been the best part of ten years since songwriting wizard Sam and erstwhile singer Brian put together 'It's All Relative', and it has been decided that a tenth anniversary re-recording by the band is in order. Sam and Andy have already recorded their guitar and drum parts respectively so it's time for myself and Squirrel to add our guitar and bass contributions. With optimism in the air we got off to a flying start and progress was swift, until my trusty (well it had been trusty up until this point!) Fender Telecaster cut out when I changed from the bridge to the neck pick up. It came back on, cut out again... after attempting an emergency repair (hitting it then swearing rather a lot - well, it usually works!) it came back on, and was fine as long as I only wanted to use the bridge pick up, which, somewhat fortuitously, was the one that I wanted to use for much of proceedings. I just got it working again when Squirrel's bass started making some rather odd crackling noises - he changed the battery (it's got active pick ups) but to no avail, and so used Andy's bass for the rest of the day. Somehow despite these setbacks we got a remarkable amount of work done, and have resolved to get back together in the next couple of weeks (after we've got our instruments repaired perhaps!?!) to complete our parts. More news as and when I have it, but I for one think that the album is going to sound great. Oh yes!

And last night I saw The Good Old Boys at The Eel Pie Club in Twickenham. I hadn't been to the club for quite some time (it's at The Cabbage Patch public house) but if the audience for this show was anything to go by it's a thriving venue which is always a good thing to see in these troubled times. And the GOBs (another abbreviated band name eh?) were absolutely excellent - mind you, they usually are.

Better go - I have a gig with Utter Madness tomorrow at no lesser venue than Cliveden House (you know, the Profumo Affair and all that) and I've got songs to revise. After that,  it's time for the return of Ruts D.C. - but more about that next time.

And the answer to the 'hot guitar' question - it is of course the great Robert Fripp, who has variously referred to spraying 'hot' and 'burning' guitar several times over the years. Good man!

'I may be right, I may be wrong, but I bet you're gonna miss me when I'm gone...'

Wilko Johnson played one of his 'farewell shows' at Koko in Camden last night. All things being equal - and of course, they very rarely are - it'll be the last-but-one time that I see him perform. A sad occasion? In many ways yes (obviously!) but in other ways no - after all, how could it be a sad occasion when there were so many smiling faces in the room?

Support came from Eight Rounds Rapid who feature Wilko's son Simon on guitar. As they started their set they looked a bit overawed by things - maybe it was the venue, more likely the weight of expectation and the feeling that they knew that most of the audience was probably thinking something along the lines of 'Oooo doesn't he look like his Dad when he's playing?' (Incidentally a lot of them may have also found themselves thinking 'Oooo that singer looks a bit like Lee Brilleaux' at the same time...) Simon plays a Fender Telecaster, chopping out chords without the aid of a plectrum - I hope the inevitable comparisons to his Dad don't cloud the fact that they're a very good band in their own right, although Simon has got to get the hang of wrapping his guitar cable around the guitar strap so that it doesn't get pulled out if he inadvertently treads on it. Definitely a band to look out for.

In the interval 'Meaty, Beaty Big And Bouncy' by The Who (coincidentally it's the first album that I ever bought with my own money) played over the P.A. as the venue filled up and the atmosphere became more charged. As each song ended the cries for 'WILKO!' got louder - until just on 9 o'clock when The Who gave way to The Small Faces and 3 familiar figures dressed all in black walked out onto the stage to a welcome quite unlike any that I've previously heard at one of their shows. For the next hour-and-a-half they gave a performance that it's frankly impossible for me to be objective about. Recently Wilko has spoken about how his diagnosis of terminal cancer left him feeling 'vividly alive' - well that's exactly how the music sounded last night. Vividly alive. What an amazing turn of phrase that is. Vividly alive. As he careered across the stage during the solo in 'Everybody's Carrying A Gun' I smiled as I would guess that I always do when he starts the first solo of the evening, and then felt a strange shudder as my eyes started to water. Happiness mixed with sadness. Smiling and crying at the same time. Vividly alive. 
My Dad once told me that his Dad, my Grandad who died over 10 years before I was born, used to often say 'nothing good lasts forever', then follow it a few seconds later with 'nothing bad lasts forever either'. He'd seen enough in two World Wars to know what he was talking about. I thought of him last night, a man that I could sadly never meet but whose words suddenly seemed to sum up the moment only too well. Wilko's shows have always been occasions to savour - well, they have been for me anyway - and while last night was no exception it was impossible to ignore just why there were so many people in the sold out venue, all of whom seemed to be hanging on to every second for as long as they possibly could. Well, I certainly was. Norman Watt-Roy and Dylan Howe matched him move for move and note for note, Dr. Feelgood classics collided with solo material, Alison Moyet joined in for encores of 'I Don't Mind' and 'All Through The City' - but this was Wilko's night, as all the remaining shows will be Wilko's night. But it was our night too. And that's alright. As he wrestled manfully with a broken string that all-but-scuppered 'Bye Bye Johnny' (and oh what a poignant song choice, given that Wilko's real name is John Wilkinson) I couldn't help but notice that he had a huge grin on his face, probably the biggest that I'd ever seen him have, at least until the end of the final blistering encore of 'Twenty Yards Behind' was met with a reaction that's among the most genuinely heartfelt that I've ever heard from an audience. The house lights came up to reveal more smiles than I've seen in one place in a long time. I hope that there was one on Wilko's face too. There was certainly one on mine. Vividly alive indeed.

'Vinyl Rules!' Episode Four - Wilko Johnson

Regular readers (assuming of course that I have any!) of these hallowed pages will be well aware of my admiration for the guitar playing talents of Wilko Johnson. I first became aware of the great man's playing when I came in from school one day early in 1975 to be confronted by the sight of Dr. Feelgood on 'The Geordie Scene'. From the moment I saw him flailing at a Fender Telecaster with a maniacal bug-eyed stare whilst careering jerkily across the stage I was hooked - and the rest of the band weren't too bad either. I discovered that the band came from a semi-mythical place called Canvey Island and had released an album called 'Down By The Jetty' which was clad in a stark black and white sleeve and had been recorded in mono. I loved it. My mates didn't and thought I was mad. I've followed his career avidly ever since.

After he left Dr. Feelgood in 1977 he put together The Solid Senders and released a single and an album on Virgin Records. The 'Solid Senders' album is readily available on CD and very good it is too, especially when you factor in the six-track live album that accompanied the first vinyl pressing and is included on the CD re-issue. Sadly this edition doesn't include the single 'Walking On The Edge' which is a shame since it's a terrific reworking of a track that first appeared on the final 'Feelgoods-with-Wilko' album 'Sneakin' Suspicion'. The B-side saw the first appearance of the Wilko classic 'Dr. Dupree' which later featured on the album in a slightly different (remixed?) form. It remains unique in the Wilko cannon with it's reggae-inspired rhythms and somewhat surreal lyrics penned by Hugo Williams. It's importance as a Wilko song is underlined by it's appearance in virtually every live performance since it's release (an accolade also bestowed upon 'Everybody's Carrying A Gun' from the album) and it's an audience favourite to this day. Overall a great single - and there's apparently a promo video for the A-side although I for one have never seen it. Maybe one day? In the meantime click here for some marvellous live footage of the band around this time (which was when I first saw him play, having been just a bit too young to catch him in The Feelgoods) and links to footage from the rest of the show.

With the demise of The Solid Senders Wilko joined Ian Dury And The Blockheads for their 'Laughter' album and tour before teaming up with Lew Lewis to form (you've guessed it!) The Wilko Johnson / Lew Lewis Band. I saw them a couple of times and they were as great as you'd hope they'd be, but sadly the partnership was to be short-lived - Lew didn't stick around but Wilko continued with Russ Strutter on bass and Alex Bines on drums, releasing the 'Casting My Spell On You' / 'Looked Out My Window' single and the 'Ice On The Motorway' album. I think the album might well have been available on CD at some point (Wilko's back catalogue is very difficult to pin down!) but I'm fairly sure that the single tracks remain vinyl only. The A-side takes it's cues from the version recorded by The Pirates way back in 1963 (it came out the next year along with 'My Babe' as their 'solo' single released when they were backing Johnny Kidd; have a listen to it here - the influence of the late great Mick Green on Wilko's playing is all too apparent as you hear here) while the b-side made it into the live set for the next few years with a particularly fine version appearing on the excellent 'Watch Out!' live set. The 'Ice On The Motorway' album is well worth a listen (if you can find it!) and again several of the songs have been live staples ever since.

From there Wilko teamed up with uber-bassman Norman Watt-Roy (who he still works with today) and drummer Salvatore Ramundo to form what for many was the classic line-up of The Wilko Johnson Band - click here for a fabulous clip of them in action. These days Dylan Howe is behind the kit, and they remain one of the best live acts that it's possible to witness. In the wake of the brilliant 'Oil City Confidential' documentary he's getting more recognition than ever these days, even appearing in the T.V. series 'Game Of Thrones' playing a mute assassin (!) as well as being the subject of a Facebook campaign for him to replace Patrick Moore on 'The Sky At Night'. Strange but true. He remains a  brilliant musician and an iconic live performer who has stayed true to himself and the music he plays. The outpouring of support that followed the announcement that he's suffering from terminal cancer shows just how much he and his music mean to many people, and with the farewell shows on the horizon the level of interest in his work will surely only increase.

NB - I actually wrote most of this a couple of days before the announcement earlier last month that Wilko is suffering from terminal cancer. I'd intended to post it in early January, and after much musing in the meantime have decided to leave it more-or-less as originally written, adding only the last line and tidying it up here and there.

The Chicago Blues Brothers in Dubai, October 2011

With Britain in the icy grip of the first snows of the winter it seems like a good time to revisit the last week of October 2011, when The Chicago Blues Brothers played five shows in hot and sunny Dubai. What follows is a 'tidied-up' version of the notes that were written at the time - they've been edited a bit here and there but basically left as they were. I guess everyone involved will have different memories from our visit, and different views on what we did and where we did it - these are mine. Enjoy.

Tuesday 25th, midday

So here I am in room 27 of The Emirates Academy. After a cup of black coffee which paranoia dictated that I made with bottled water (as we got off the bus Matt asked 'can we drink the water?' Pete's emphatic 'NO!' was met with dismay and a wonder of where we could buy bottled water at 4.30 am; fortunately there was some in our rooms) and a quick scan of the television channels (nothing on as usual) I'm sitting on the end of my bed scribbling. 'Who's Next' is playing thanks to the small iPod dock that I've bought with me ('out here in the fields, I fought for my meals...') and I'm looking out of the window, there's a small courtyard and that weird building that looks a bit like a sail is looming in the near-distance - I can only see the top of it as it's obscured by the rest of the courtyard buildings.

We arrived here around 2.45 am local time. I think we're 3 hours ahead of Britain here and we left Heathrow about 5.30 pm so we were in the air for about 6 hours, the longest flight that I've done for quite some time. As previously mentioned we're staying in The Emirates Academy which as I understand is a complex where hotel staff are trained. First impressions are good - I've got what I guess would be marketed as a 'small apartment', as you walk in there's a bathroom on the right (isn't that a Creedance Clearwater Revival song?!?) with kitchen facilities opposite it on the left. Things then open out into a room with a single bed in the far right-hand corner, a couple of tables, cupboards, wardrobes - you know the sort of thing. It's clean and comfortable although it has to said that by the time we got here I probably could have slept standing up.

After we'd got our baggage we'd made our way through Dubai International Airport to the area where we were meeting our bus. I say something like 'this is quite a building' to Pete, he just laughs - 'you ain't seen nothing yet'. He used to live here so I suppose he should know... as we leave the airport building the temperature jumps by what feels like about 20 degrees or so - 'feel the heat, baby' says Dave as I for one realise just how efficient the air conditioning has been. Fortunately the bus is air conditioned too. Our journey through the night is enlivened by Matt's somewhat animated comments ('I asked the stewardess for a tonic water, she offered me gin with it and then kept coming back...') and the inevitable 'what's that building over there?' from the people like me who have never been to Dubai before. It all looked amazing. I wonder if it is?

Today is 'set-up day'. We're due at The Al Muna Restaurant for a meal at 2 pm followed by an afternoon setting up at The Medinat Theatre (part of the Jumeriah Hotel complex) in anticipation of 5 consecutive evening shows at the venue. I've bought with me my trusty Telecaster, a Digitech Screamin' Blues overdrive pedal (to boost my solos in volume) and some cables; I'm looking forward to trying out the Fender combo that's been provided by the theatre although I'll bet now that it'll be too loud - at this sort of thing they invariably provide excellent equipment that's far too powerful for the job in hand. Oh well - let's see what the next few hours bring.

Time for a shower. More later.

6 pm

Well not only was the amp way too powerful (it was a brand new Fender Twin Reverb combo in case you were wondering) but it also appeared to have some sort of earth problem. Various attempts were made by all and sundry to lose the cracking sounds that occurred every time that let go of my strings but to no avail; 'let's try the Marshall' said the cheery stagehand - that'll be an amp that's not only too loud but that is totally inappropriate for the job in hand then. Oh well, let's give it a go... in the event the clean channel of the Vintage Modern combo sounded fine, especially when I trod on the pedal for solos. The cheery stagehand resolved to attempt to sort out the Fender combo while we set about 'set up day'. I'm not sure why we couldn't have done it tomorrow and then played a show but I suppose ours is not to realise why, as someone once said... we spent a fair bit of time running through 'Hey Bartender' which was due to make it's first appearance in our show - with it sounding good we turned our attention to a less obvious addition to our set. If you've ever seen our theatre show then you'll know that we usually play a medley of 'John The Revelator' / 'Can I Get A Witness?' / 'Higher And Higher' to end the first half, with Pete playing a particularly over-the-top preacher character called (wait for it!) The Reverend I. C. Delight. However since we're in a country where pretending to be a mad vicar is unlikely to be a particularly clever thing to do (to say the least!) an alternative idea had to be found. Pete had suggested 'We Are Family' which no one was too sure about - then one day I was listening to Sly And The Family Stone... hmmm... how about 'Dance To The Music'? We're only playing a minute or so of the song to let Pete make his entrance as 'Soul Brother Number 1' and it doesn't take too long to get together - let's see if we can remember both of the new numbers tomorrow for the first show.

Prior to that we'd all met in the restaurant for some food - and what amazing food it was. We're due back there at 8 o'clock for an evening meal - I expect to go home heavier than when I left.

Wednesday 26th, 9 am

A half hour or so ago I was awoken by a very - make that very - loud 'DING DONG! which then re-occurred another couple of times. Surely I don't have a doorbell? But if I don't have a doorbell then where is the sound coming from? When it went again I stumbled across my room towards the door, struggling with a dim recollection that Dave and Richard had said that they were off to a market today. Surely I hadn't agreed to go with them? As I looked through that weird fisheye thingy that you get on hotel (and indeed house) front doors I saw their beaming faces and realised that, yes, I had agreed to go with them. Sorry lads, I'm not awake yet. Bah! Still I'm awake now so I might as well have a cup of coffee and get myself together - after all, I can always have a sleep later if I need to.

When we stumbled back to The Academy last night after a few drinks Matt and myself had been pleased to find the shop on the complex to still be open, and so bought some milk. I've just found it - it's frozen solid. A measure of how tired I was when I went to bed is that I put it in the freezer rather than the fridge.

This day can only improve.

4 pm

And it did - well it certainly hasn't got any worse. I bumped into Matt on my way to breakfast - we arrived at the restaurant to find Pete in a state of some consternation over arrangements for the next few days. There was apparently no problem with the shows, all of which were selling healthily, but over the times and the places where the band could get food. He'd received an early morning text requesting that the band all have breakfast by 8.30 - without making us all sound like lazy sods that was at best unlikely and at worst impossible. There was also a request for a 'technical run through' before the show - didn't we do that yesterday? He looked troubled but resolved to sort everything out; I received a text message a few hours later to the effect that he had. Good man.

After eating we returned to The Academy - Matt decided to go to the gym (there's less chance of me doing that than all the band having breakfast before 8.30!) while I returned to my room to spend some time revising T.V. Smith songs for an upcoming gig at The 12 Bar Club, going through some Ruts D.C. material for the upcoming rehearsals and, well, if I'm honest, sleeping for an hour or so. I think the heat might already be getting to me a bit - it's over 90 degrees in old money and I'm just not used to it! Seriously though, I've never been one for the sun so I'm trying to drink plenty of water and not be too silly about things.

5.15 pm

It's nearly time to leave for the theatre to prepare for our first show. I've put my stage clothes and shoes in my bag. I've changed the strings on my Telecaster. I'm ready to rock.

Thursday 2.35 am

Well it turned out that whilst I was indeed ready to rock, the amplifier wasn't. Halfway through 'Do You Love Me?' it stopped working completely - with the cheery stagehand nowhere to be seen myself and Pete (with him dressed in a very loud yellow suit in anticipation of his appearance as Fab Calloway singing 'Minnie The Moocher') ended up scrabbling around backstage looking for the Fender combo that went wrong during yesterday's soundcheck. We eventually found it - as I plugged it in I wondered if the cheery stagehand had managed to fix the earth problem... I played a chord and it sounded great. Hurrah.

In the meantime while we thought it was our worst gig for ages Pete, Mike, Matt and anyone else who spoke to anyone who wasn't in the band reported that as far as the audience was concerned it had been brilliant. The customer is always right don't you think?

After the show we went to The Barzar (yes, it's really called that) for a few drinks, which probably cost us most of tonight's wages. I really must find out what the exchange rate is.

12.50 pm

I've just read back through the barely-decipherable scrawl written when I got in last night - considering the fact that a fair few drinks had been consumed it actually makes reasonable sense. And not only did I remember to put a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, I also managed to set an alarm for 9.30 to make sure I was up in time for breakfast. Still it was good to go out for a few beers after a show that none of us were particularly happy with; yes it went down well, but you still have to reach your own standards. Well, I think that you do anyway.

In the meantime I've bought my guitar back with me as my strings were in a very strange state after the show. The venue had used an oil-based smoke on stage (it's often used to make a haze so that the beams from the lights show up) which in addition to causing all sorts of problems for the horn players and the singers (especially Tracy) seems to have coated my strings - they feel as though I've done too many shows with them rather than just one. It's a bit of a waste but I've just put another new set on, and I believe they won't be using that particular type of smoke tonight. Good.

So now I've got Oasis on the iPod and I don't have to be back at the venue for about 4 hours. The rest of the band have gone to Wild Wadi (whatever that is!) but I'm quite happy here on my own. I don't know - you come halfway around the World to somewhere that a lot of people would love to visit, and then you spend all your time in an air conditioned darkened room. Oh well. I'll go out somewhere tomorrow. Probably.

Friday 2.35 pm

So what went wrong during last night's show then? Any guesses?

The battery ran out in my Screaming Blues pedal. I discovered this when I trod on it for my solo in 'Hey Bartender' and it got quieter rather than louder. Bugger! I'm sure - sure - that I changed it before we came out here. Oh well - compared to the amp stopping working the previous night it was pretty simple to deal with; I changed the battery in the interval and it sounded great. Overall it seemed to be a better show than Wednesday's although the audience were more laid back. Maybe it's third time lucky tonight?

I decided to visit Wild Wadi after all yesterday afternoon - yes, I'm surprised too. Well it's over the road from us and we've been given free passes so I decided to make a heroic effort and go and see what it was all about. It turned out to be a water park with various rides which look as though they ranged from relaxing to terrifying. I didn't have a go on any of them (sadly I'm far too self-conscious to take my shirt off in public) but I wandered around the park for 20 minutes or so before deciding that (a) I'll never fit into a world where something like this is regarded by many if not most people as a reasonable pastime, and (b) I probably looked like a middle-aged bloke walking around ogling a lot of scantily clad young women. Time to go back to revising T.V. Smith songs then!

After the show we returned to Barzar for the second night running as we'd been told the night before that we could buy a card which allowed us to get cut price drinks. For 90 Dirhams (about £15 or £16 pounds I think) we could have any 5 drinks from the allotted list - I fear that we were paying nearly that for 2 drinks the previous night! Heroic restraint from Matt and myself meant that we had 2 1/2 pints each, a good move as an excursion was planned for this morning...

After breakfast two taxis took us (Marc, Pete, Jayne, Chris, Mike, Phil and myself) out to the gold and spice Souks of Deira and Bur Dubai, perhaps best described as the 'old' parts of town. They couldn't have been more different to the area that we were staying and indeed working in. Gone are the fake buildings (and indeed fake people) only to be replaced by, well, fake goods. Men accost you every few seconds (and it's definitely a man's world, there are very few if any women to be seen) offering you the best (i.e. best fake) watch / camera / phone (delete as applicable) on the market. The more they try the more you want to walk away. Well, I do anyway. It's a totally different experience to the virtual Disneyland of the big hotels and shopping malls that so many would associate with Dubai, and it's one that's well worth having if only to keep things in perspective.

It's clearly not an easy life out here for most people.

Pete suggests a visit to The George and Dragon English bar in The Ambassador Hotel, it was a favourite of his when he lived here but it's changed - when he asks for the music to be turned down he's told that it's on the television and that it's 'automatic'. In the corner two Arabic-looking gentlemen nurse pints of beer (are they supposed to do that?!?) and some of the band play pool, but Pete looks hurt and upset. They say that you should never go back don't they?

We take another couple of taxis to The Al Kamara shopping area to meet up with Squirrel, Dave and Richard who have been out to the harbour. Absolutely everything that you see on sale is fake - shops proudly proclaim 'GENUINE MASTER COPIES' of every famous name on clothing and jewellery that you can think of. Some of the shop names are even spent incorrectly - either that or there's a colour out here called 'voilet' and a place called 'Aladin's Cave'. Sadly the Liverpool F. C. shop was closed, as I'd love to have seen what they had in there. As we walked around I found myself thinking of Johnny Rotten of all people - 'a cheap holiday in other people's misery', 'your future dream is a shopping scheme'... I for one have seen enough and when Chris and Mike suggest a taxi back to The Emirates Academy I jump at the chance of going with them. As we drive along the roads gradually get wider, the buildings get taller and the shops get more colourful as the skyscrapers of the promised land are looming in the middle distance. But they're not just a few miles away - they're in another universe.

Saturday 2.30 am

Third time lucky indeed - a great show and I didn't break anything. Good

Once again I found myself buying a Barzar-card-full of drinks, and I'm now sitting in my room with Bob Dylan on the iPod. He's just said something about having a 'head full of ideas that are driving me insane...' I think I know how he feels.

3.25 pm

At the end of what was undeniably a good show last night I realised that my strings were once again in a bit of a mess. I can normally do 3 or 4 theatre shows before they need changing, but that's because I generally have a spare guitar with me and so can take a bit more of a chance with things. Also we're not usually in a country where air conditioning is pretty much everywhere - not last night though, as it had either failed on stage or not been switched on. The resulting heat coupled with the return of the oil-based smoke (that'd have been a good title for a 1940s horror film wouldn't it?!?) meant that my strings were all but worn out by the end of the show. Rather than take the guitar out drinking with me (!) I decided to pick it up this morning after breakfast - I returned to the theatre to find it open but with no staff anywhere to be seen. I strolled through the auditorium into the unlocked backstage area where I retrieved my precious instrument, all the while reflecting on the fact that anybody could have done exactly the same thing. Not good frankly. I then decided to get some money from a nearby ATM - a nervous moment occurred when it told me that it was 'unable to dispense' and I feared that I might not get my card back, but fortunately this wasn't the case and I was able to get some cash from another machine.

Back here in my room I've changed my strings and did some more work on the T.V. Smith material; I've received an email from him adding a few songs to the set I was expecting so this seemed like a good chance to run through them, as well as do a bit on the Ruts D.C. stuff too. I've just made a cup of coffee. Rock 'n' Roll eh?

Sunday 10.45 am

I decided not to write anything when I got in last night, not least because I suspect that there's been enough semi-drunken rambling here in these hallowed pages already. But we once again returned to Barzar before Matt and myself sat in my room until the early hours ranting and raving about something or other. I also recall a few 'you've got to hear this' moments with the iPod (well he's got the next door room so I knew I wasn't going to wake him up!) which he gamely put up with. Good man.

It had been a good show - not a great one but certainly not a bad one either. Band members were using words like 'steady' to describe our performance which thinking about it now seems like a fair observation. A rather laid-back audience took a while to get going, and as a result so did we; that said 'Hey Bartender' is sounding excellent, and the 'Dance To The Music' section is sounding much better than it did in the first couple of shows. As I say a good show rather than a great one, but that's no bad thing. However Jayne injuring her foot after the show is definitely a bad thing - I'm not sure what happened but hope she's ok.

It's our last show tonight - have we really been here nearly a week? Amazing. It's gone so quickly. There's nothing planned today until 4 o'clock when a bus will take us and all our luggage the short distance over to the theatre; it's a 6.30 show tonight (the others have all been 8 o'clock kick-offs) before food at 9.30. We're then due to leave for the airport at midnight for the 3 am flight home. Gulp!

Monday 2.45 am

And here we are on board flight EK 007 (oh yes!) Our last show here was a bit of a weird one, with Dave being struck down with food poisoning (well that's what he thinks he's got, from a salmon quiche eaten earlier in the day) that meant that he spent much of the show backstage lying down or being sick. Meanwhile the smallest audience of the week made up for what they lacked in numbers by dancing for most of the show and making as much noise as possible.

I spent most of the day doing, well, not very much at all; that said I did rough out a blog piece on John Saxon as well as reviewing these notes and reading some of the Keith Richards autobiography 'Life' that I've been working my way through during my time here. Now we're on the plane home. It'll be good to get back.

So what of Dubai then? Well... it's a nice place to visit, but you (or to be more accurate, I) wouldn't want to live there. For a start it much too hot for a wimp like me - I think the average daytime temperature while we were there was over 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and it didn't go below 70 at night. I believe it gets even hotter in the summer.

The area that we were staying and working was relatively well-to-do, as evidenced by it's close proximity to The Burj Al Arab Hotel. All well and good - but what were we really seeing? Elaborately ornate buildings that look as though they could be old (but of course they aren't) are almost an artist's impression of what Dubai 'should' look like. Well that's what they seemed to be like to me.

Compare this with our visit to the Souk districts - is that the 'real' Dubai? If it is then it's a long way from hotels with tennis courts on the roof and the World's tallest building. The contrast could hardly be greater - but there are areas of London that are just as unalike. I suppose that ultimately it's all down to opinion and how you yourself view the place. As someone who sees themselves as a left wing person I found it very hard to reconcille the sights of the Souks with the area that we were staying in or indeed the places that you pass through to go between the two places. The inequality is astonishing, although again you could say the same about London or indeed any big city. From what I read there is a dark side, with many people there bearly surviving on low wages, living many to a single room. How many people think about that while they're basking on the man-made beaches that I saw being rebuilt every night? Then again they're on holiday in a land where money can (probably) get you anything you might want so why should they be bothered?

Near the end of our stay Pete asked everyone if anybody would be coming back for a holiday next year. Much as I had enjoyed my time in Dubai, I figured that the question wasn't really aimed at me.

Cast and crew -

Matt and Mike - Jake and Elwood

Squirrel - bass

Marc - drums

Chris - keyboards

Dave - trumpet

Richard - saxophone

Tracy - vocals

Pete - tour management and vocals

Phil - sound man

Jayne - wardrobe

and your humble narrator on the electric guitar

The iPod soundtrack to my visit, in no particular order -

The Beatles - various, especially 'Rubber Soul' and 'Revolver'

The Sex Pistols - 'NMTB' plus b-sides, particularly after visiting the gold and spice souks

The Faces - 'A Nod's As Good As A Wink' and 'Ooh La La' plus various tracks including their version of 'The Stealer', for John Saxon

Free - various tracks, once again with John in mind

The Clash - 'London Calling'

Dr. Feelgood - mostly with Wilko Johnson on guitar, but some of the Gypie Mayo stuff too

Noel Gallagher - 'High Flying Birds'

Oasis - 'Stop The Clocks'

R.E.M. - a few tracks from 'Document', after 'Disturbance At The Heron House' came into my head one day

The Godfathers - 'Hit By Hit'

The Rolling Stones - tracks from whichever part of their career that I was reading about at the time

The Who - 'Who's Next' and more, including the classic early singles

Bob Dylan - a few tracks after a few drinks

- plus the Ruts DC and TV Smith tracks that I was learning or revising, and probably some other stuff as well.

I read 'Life' by Keith Richards, and the 'Fender Electric Guitar Bible' edition of Guitar And Bass magazine.

I wore a variety of Balcony Shirts, along with a straw hat and some very ill-advised shorts.

Six of one and half a dozen of the other

So let's start my sixth year as a blogger with Friday's Uppercut gig at The Dolphin which saw the first appearance of my recently acquired Vintage Lemon Drop guitar. It sounded good although it's going to take a bit of getting used to - I generally use my Relic Stratocaster for our gigs and this has a much 'heavier' sound. It also features an unusual wiring system as it's intended to emulate Peter Green's famous Gibson Les Paul which was also owned by Gary Moore. Depending on which story you believe the guitar in question was either being repaired or cleaned - either way the neck pick-up ended up being put in the wrong way round and wired out of phase. This makes no difference to the sound when either of the pick-ups are selected individually, but when both pick-ups are on at the same time the resultant 'hollow' sound is very different to how you might expect from a Les Paul. Add to that the fact that turning either of the pick-ups down by even a small amount alters this dramatically and also makes the guitar louder (yes, you just read that bit correctly - when you turn one of the pick-ups down it gets louder! Really!) and you have a situation which as I say will take a bit of getting used to. Admittedly I'd not had as much time to practice with the guitar as I'd have liked (excuses excuses!) but I will have to sort myself out before our next show as the guitar played well and seems to suit our style better than the Strat. Overall however it was a great gig, very well attended and with much dancing and merriment all round. It's good when that happens!

And it was a great gig at The Pelton Arms in Greenwich yesterday afternoon when your humble narrator and his Telecaster (that's better, I can work one of those!) made his depping debut in The Duplicates. With ace guitarist Matt Percival away elsewhere I joined Seamus Beaghen (Hammond Organ) and Dave Ruffy (drums) for two sets of songs, instrumentals and theme tunes and songs which I managed to get through without too many mishaps. Mind you I'd spent a fair bit of time working on the material so I'm glad that I did! I particularly enjoyed playing the theme tune from 'The Dave Allen Show' (five points if you can tell me the title?!?) where I managed to use a wha-wha pedal without falling over (although it was close a few times!) and judging by the number of people who told me that it that I made a good job of the show I, well, made a good job of the show. It's good when that happens too! In the meantime Segs exercised his DJ-ing skills with some old funk and reggae tracks, and Tom from The Phobics surprised me by coming up over at the end of the show with the words 'what are you doing with this bunch of reprobates?' It turns out he lives locally and knows the band well - which reminds me The Phobics are playing at The 100 Club on September 7th with The Bermondsey Joyriders which should be well worth catching. And The Pelton Arms is a great - make that great - pub; any place that serves a chip butty with a side order of chips ('all sandwiches come with chips and salad') has got to have something going for it don't you think?

So - year six then...

Barnet fair

I don't know about you but I used to really like football. As a lifelong fan of the (once) mighty Reds I'm obviously less keen these days (!) but even without their hapless descent into near self-parody I think I'd have lost interest anyway since most major games these days look to me like a bunch of bored millionaires filling in time before making another attempt at getting off with one of their teammate's wives.

Cynical? Me? Imagine that...

On the other hand from a Balcony Shirts point of view I'm bound to say that I'm completely wrong with the above analysis; we should all be supporting England in their attempt to bring The World Cup back to it's rightful home, and of course be wearing an appropriate t-shirt whilst doing so. You know it makes sense!

The opening night of the tournament (Friday in case you're not following it) saw The 4 Faces visit the excellently named After Office Hours in Barnet. Roger (drums) and myself arrived to find Terry and Terry (bass and vocals) on hand to help us carry our gear in, a fortuitous development as we could only get in the back way which was across a yard and up some rather imposing looking iron steps. The Uruguay vs. France match was on the big screen which was on the stage - so no setting up until the end of the game then. It didn't look a very likely venue for us but with the aid of a stag party and some very interesting dancing from some young ladies present it turned out to be a good night. I tried the FMT Telecaster again which coped well with the rockier material as well as the soul stuff (it's got very good pick-ups along with a coil tapping switch) so it definitely looks like Andy's made a sale... oh and Terry the singer suggested that we change the name of the band again; Terry the bass said he'd just seen a shop opposite called The Upper Cut (presumably it's a hairdressers?!?) and that'd be a good name for us, not least as it was a club in London back in the 1960's. Everyone seemed to approve although I for one am not sure if we're now called that or not. Let's see what happens at the next gig.

Saturday it was back up to The Barnham Broom Hotel for what is becoming an annual event for us, The Wishes Ball (organised by trumpeter Dave and his wife Lyn among others) in aid of GOSH and EACH. Ian's back on keyboards (he's been away gigging with Ray Davies) and Ian's on sax in place of Richard; Pete and Mike are running the charity auction as well as fronting the band - originally to be a Blues Brothers show it became a Stacks Of Soul gig somewhere along the way, and very good it was too, with plenty of dancefloor action and even a few gatecrashers who were removed by Dave and Lyn. With the England vs. U.S.A. match on in the nearby sports bar Lyn issued a stern warning that anyone caught sneaking out to watch the match would be fined - Mike and Ian both returned from the bar to find pieces of paper telling them how much they owed the charity on their place mats. Perhaps they should have just watched it on their phones like everybody else did!

A couple of years or so ago I did a gig in what might well be one of the more unusual locations of my (ahem) career - the front window of Horsepower Hairdressing in Uxbridge. Andy and myself made a return appearance there on Sunday afternoon at The Loose Goose, a gathering organised by Horsepower supremo Adam which attracted a bewildering number of like-minded souls, many of which arrived on motorbikes or in hod rods and who provided Uxbridge with one of the most extraordinary gatherings that the High Street has ever seen. As we played through a mixture of old blues numbers and songs from The Flying Squad's repertoire tattooed ladies mingled with impressively bearded bikers and an atmosphere of cheery bonhomie prevailed. Arch Flying Squad fan Keith arrived just as we were joined by Steve (a mate of Adam's) on cajon for 'Down At The Doctors' - when we'd finished that he fetched a double bass from his van (!) which he proved to be equally adept at. We had a break to watch the penny farthing time trials (I'm not making this up, honest) and when we finished playing around 5 p.m. both Andy and myself agreed that it had been one of the most enjoyable afternoon's that we'd had in ages - which was just as well as I'd missed some of Shirley's birthday barbecue to play at it. Sorry Shirl! That's why I call her 'long-suffering'...

'And I, wanna be...'

So - did you observe a 'Minute Of Mayhem'?

Your humble narrator attempted to touch the spirit of anarchy by playing The Sex Pistols in the kitchen - as the long-suffering Shirley and myself were having lunch with 'No Fun' roaring out in the background she rather ruefully asked 'wasn't it only supposed to be a minute?' as the clock ticked past 12.20. Sorry Shirl! Thanks Malcy!

Meanwhile we've had a revue in The Surrey Herald - modesty forbids me from saying any more than that but you can find it here if you'd like to see what they thought of us...

Two shows yesterday then, preceded by a soundcheck that included attempts at 'Get Ready' and 'Guilty', both possible additions to the show; the former sounded promising (I hope we play it again, I loved it!) and the latter actually made it into the afternoon show, replacing 'Natural Woman' in the second set to give Tracy's ailing throat a rest. Matt returned but Pete depped for Mike this time (this is getting confusing!) in a performance that included a lady falling asleep three rows from the front, a man asking to excused to go to the toilet and someone inexplicably shouting out 'Lady GaGa' which Pete misheard as 'where's your car parked?' Don't you just love matinee gigs?!?

Since it was Thursday and I was in a theatre I decided to change the strings on my main guitar during the interval, then in typically obtuse fashion play my spare guitar for the evening show - I hadn't used it for a while, it took a bit of getting used to as it sounded much 'rockier' to my ears. (Incidentally when I suggested to Matt afterwards that it might have been a bit much for our show he looked horrified! Good man!) Dave returned on trumpet and Matt 'n' Mike were in the hats 'n' glasses (I told you this was getting confusing!) and the show was somewhat more conventional than the earlier one, although it had it's moments - maybe mayhem for lunch wasn't such a good idea after all?

Oops I did it again!

Oh dear - once again your humble narrator got carried away during his solo in 'Green Onions' (go back to the first posting in March if you're wondering what I'm blathering on about) and once again the end result is him having to wash his guitar after the show. Still, at least I took a picture of it this time... a fine start to our Windsor week saw Steve (depping for Marc on drums) playing the full theatre show without sheet music (no one can find it!) for the first time - he made an excellent job of it, and it was a very good show all round which has hopefully set us up for a memorable run of gigs. I'll try not to cut my hand again 'though - it really stings this morning!