'What is "rock and roll"'
Well, there's a question. I'm sure there's many answers to that one as there are "rock and roll" songs (depending on your opinion of what constitutes a "rock and roll song" that is). I heard that very question asked from the stage of The Dominion Theatre in London's Tottenham Court Road only last night. The young man asking it called himself Galileo Figaro, he had a girlfriend called Scaramouche and not even a great big black fella called Britney Spears (yes, you did read that bit correctly) knew the answer. And I have to admit I'm not sure of the answer myself; but what I do know is what I saw happen on the stage last night most definitely wasn't "rock and roll". Not in my eyes anyway.
It was according to Ben Elton, 'cos he said it was, several times. He said lots of other things too, mostly about how critics are entitled to their opinions but so are audiences- and this show has had a standing ovation every night for the last 5 years. So- does that mean that no one in any of those audiences likes "rock and roll"? Or does it mean that they all like it? Now there's a question...
I never liked Queen. I remember seeing them on 'Top of the Pops' back in the '70's doing 'Seven Seas of Rhye' and 'Killer Queen' and I thought they were alright but nowhere near as good as Slade, or The Faces, or even Mud, and definitely not as good as T.Rex. Then 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was unleashed onto an unsuspecting world- a world which, according to some people, has never really been the same since. Me- well I liked the loud bit near the end but that wasn't really enough to tilt the planet off it's axis, and besides I'd heard this great group called Dr. Feelgood; I'd seen them on the telly and they were REALLY good, especially their guitarist. They were much more like it for me, though not many of my mates agreed. Mind you they all said that they'd liked them all along a couple of years later. But punk rock was clever like that- it changed people's minds. But it didn't change my mind about Queen because I already didn't like them. 'Rock music for people who don't like rock music' was my favourite description, normally delivered with my best attempt at a punky sneer. (A few years later I would punkily sneer at Simply Red- 'soul music for people who don't like soul music, or haven't got a soul themselves'. Maybe I need a new scriptwriter?!?) When The Price were together it split us down the middle- Malcolm and me on one side (he hated them! He still does!) and Huggy and Mick on the other. Oooh the fun we all had, ranting and raving at each other at gigs, rehearsals, anywhere that they ever got a mention. Great stuff. But now I work for them. Sort of. Which is how Shirley and myself ended up with Stuart the guitar repair man at the Dominion Theatre last night for the 5th anniversary show, and, hilariously, at the after show party at AllBarOne across the road from the back of the theatre. Roger Taylor sat at our table. He's a very popular man, it looked to me as though everyone in the room wanted to talk to him. But I didn't. I don't like Queen. Remember?
Earlier on I'd seen him and Brian May on the theatre stage. At the end of a show that I'd found impossible to dislike anywhere near as much as I probably should they'd made an appearance that got a crowd reaction that redefines the word 'hysterical'. As May appeared (he came up through a trapdoor since you ask, playing his famous 'Red Special' guitar and sounding- and looking- exactly like Brian May, if you know what I mean) to play the solo in 'Bohemian Rhapsody' pandemonium ensued; when Taylor joined him for the loud bit near the end (I like that bit, remember?) it was the nearest I'm ever likely to get to being at a Nazi rally, and when they finished with 'The Show Must Go On' you could have set fire to the building and no-one would have even noticed let alone tried to escape with their lives. Except me. Oh, and Shirley. She doesn't like Queen either. Good girl.
But (and it's a BIG BUT) if Ben Elton was right and it's the audience that gauges an evening, not a critic (or even a performer), then the audience last night saw a great show, a show that they will never ever forget, that they will tell their mates about over and over again for the rest of their lives. And-incredibly- that includes me. It was an evening to have been at. It was still 'rock music for people who don't like rock music' as far as I'm concerned but (and that's another BIG BUT) it was also theatre music for people who like theatre music, and the songs made much more sense to me in that context than they ever did before.
But I still didn't like them. Because I don't like Queen. Remember?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
'It's like goldy or silvery but made out of iron...'
Since my last posting much has happened although it may not seem like it from what's written here. But it has happened.
In the meantime- an excellent rehearsal over at Andy C.'s yesterday with Dave, Andy and myself tightening up material for the first half of Big Tel's big gig at the Beck Theatre in Hayes next month. Big Tel and East joined us halfway through- Terry added some self-effacing saxophone and East some caustic comments (all too accurate in some cases!) regarding my attempts at playing a Queen song. Andy's added a few things to his studio set-up since our last visit including an extraordinary device called a FUNKLOGIC AP-302 ALGORHYTHMIC PROCECUTOR. It allows you to adjust PUNCH from 'Fruity' to 'Coma', IMAGINATION from 'Hmm' to 'Ah-hah!' and FUNKERATOR from 'The Bradys' to 'Thumb poppin' good', and, you've guessed it, does absolutely nothing at all. It's in his effects rack- he recalled with some glee a time where he used it to 'adjust' someones vocal sound ('that's much better mate, why didn't you use that on my voice in the first place?') though it's actually there to leave a bit of space for air to circulate to cool the other items; no doubt Andy advertises that his studio has one and charges extra accordingly. Well- if he doesn't, he should!
The shop's been busy- 2 week's of work experience for young Jennifer has probably been enough to put her off for life, not least when 54 (count 'em!) guitars arrived from Fender all in one go. As luck would have it Esso and Arturo from The Lurkers were in the shop when it arrived (Art bought a bass in for repair on his way to a 999 rehearsal in Acton) and were able to lend a hand loading it all in otherwise we'd probably still be there. Art's just finished writing a book and Esso's got his first one 'God's Lonely Men' coming out in the summer (he's started a blog from his website if you want to catch up on his current adventures). See- you wait for ages for a book on The Lurkers and two of them come along at once...
Tonight myself and the long-suffering Shirley are off to The Dominion Theatre (like I don't spend enough time there these days) to see the 5th anniversary performance of 'We Will Rock You'. Well, I've been working there since around the start of the year so I guess it's about time I saw it? And Brian May and Roger Taylor are playing- Stu's up there for a rehearsal/soundcheck as I type this- which should make for an interesting if rather ironic evening, given the fact that neither of us actually like Queen. Oh well- I guess you can't have everything eh?
http://www.petehaynes.co.uk
http://www.thelurkers.co.uk
In the meantime- an excellent rehearsal over at Andy C.'s yesterday with Dave, Andy and myself tightening up material for the first half of Big Tel's big gig at the Beck Theatre in Hayes next month. Big Tel and East joined us halfway through- Terry added some self-effacing saxophone and East some caustic comments (all too accurate in some cases!) regarding my attempts at playing a Queen song. Andy's added a few things to his studio set-up since our last visit including an extraordinary device called a FUNKLOGIC AP-302 ALGORHYTHMIC PROCECUTOR. It allows you to adjust PUNCH from 'Fruity' to 'Coma', IMAGINATION from 'Hmm' to 'Ah-hah!' and FUNKERATOR from 'The Bradys' to 'Thumb poppin' good', and, you've guessed it, does absolutely nothing at all. It's in his effects rack- he recalled with some glee a time where he used it to 'adjust' someones vocal sound ('that's much better mate, why didn't you use that on my voice in the first place?') though it's actually there to leave a bit of space for air to circulate to cool the other items; no doubt Andy advertises that his studio has one and charges extra accordingly. Well- if he doesn't, he should!
The shop's been busy- 2 week's of work experience for young Jennifer has probably been enough to put her off for life, not least when 54 (count 'em!) guitars arrived from Fender all in one go. As luck would have it Esso and Arturo from The Lurkers were in the shop when it arrived (Art bought a bass in for repair on his way to a 999 rehearsal in Acton) and were able to lend a hand loading it all in otherwise we'd probably still be there. Art's just finished writing a book and Esso's got his first one 'God's Lonely Men' coming out in the summer (he's started a blog from his website if you want to catch up on his current adventures). See- you wait for ages for a book on The Lurkers and two of them come along at once...
Tonight myself and the long-suffering Shirley are off to The Dominion Theatre (like I don't spend enough time there these days) to see the 5th anniversary performance of 'We Will Rock You'. Well, I've been working there since around the start of the year so I guess it's about time I saw it? And Brian May and Roger Taylor are playing- Stu's up there for a rehearsal/soundcheck as I type this- which should make for an interesting if rather ironic evening, given the fact that neither of us actually like Queen. Oh well- I guess you can't have everything eh?
http://www.petehaynes.co.uk
http://www.thelurkers.co.uk
Monday, May 07, 2007
Bank holiday? (take 1)
At last myself and East get this drinking business right and manage an evening in a pub without something daft happening- as this morning's headache will testify. Still it's a day off so who cares?
Well, actually, I do. I find it strangely difficult to have a 'day off' these days. These are busy times- the shop's going well (really busy this week especially on Saturday), the theatre work with Stu is oddly enjoyable (I never thought changing guitar strings could be such, for want of a better word, 'fun') and the gigs have been good too. A day off seems not only deserved but necessary- so why not have one? It's nothing to feel guilty about is it?
On the other hand... my yearly 'big envelope from the tax office' (if you're self-employed then you'll know the one that I mean) has arrived and I don't think I've so much as looked at my books this year. Big Tel's Big Gig is getting closer and closer- 7 weeks away as of yesterday and still lots to do. And The Price have got gigs to rehearse for- must get on the phone later and see when everybody's available. There's some other things to do as well 'though I can't quite recall them just at the moment.
Perhaps I do need a day off!
Still, I met up with Big Tel and two of the girls who are singing at the Big Gig yesterday to run through the songs that they'd like to do, sort out the key's that they sing them in etc. They're both very good- Jo seemed to me to have a voice that's just waiting to go into musical theatre whilst Chloe's more of a rocker. Some interesting song choices too- never thought I'd end up playing a Queen song... I wonder if I could borrow a guitar from the theatre? Now there's a thought.
Well, actually, I do. I find it strangely difficult to have a 'day off' these days. These are busy times- the shop's going well (really busy this week especially on Saturday), the theatre work with Stu is oddly enjoyable (I never thought changing guitar strings could be such, for want of a better word, 'fun') and the gigs have been good too. A day off seems not only deserved but necessary- so why not have one? It's nothing to feel guilty about is it?
On the other hand... my yearly 'big envelope from the tax office' (if you're self-employed then you'll know the one that I mean) has arrived and I don't think I've so much as looked at my books this year. Big Tel's Big Gig is getting closer and closer- 7 weeks away as of yesterday and still lots to do. And The Price have got gigs to rehearse for- must get on the phone later and see when everybody's available. There's some other things to do as well 'though I can't quite recall them just at the moment.
Perhaps I do need a day off!
Still, I met up with Big Tel and two of the girls who are singing at the Big Gig yesterday to run through the songs that they'd like to do, sort out the key's that they sing them in etc. They're both very good- Jo seemed to me to have a voice that's just waiting to go into musical theatre whilst Chloe's more of a rocker. Some interesting song choices too- never thought I'd end up playing a Queen song... I wonder if I could borrow a guitar from the theatre? Now there's a thought.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Unstabled, undressed
Have you ever noticed that if you take the 'D' from the start of 'Dunstable' and put it on the end instead it now spells 'unstabled'?
I thought not. I worry myself sometimes.
The Price played quite a bit up in Dunstable- in fact the first time I met Glen Matlock was when we supported his then-band The Mavericks (yes, they had to change their name! They became The Philistines, a name Glen still uses today) in, I think, 1992. Judging by last night's visit it doesn't seem to have changed much since then; The Grove Theatre is brand new however, and reminded me of The Market Place Theatre in Amargh which we played last year. After a journey that would have been a lot less enjoyable had Pete not called to warn us that the M1 was, in his words, 'a car park' (we took the A-roads instead) Shirley went off shopping whilst I met keyboard player Steve for the first time (Ian was elsewhere, I think away playing for Roger Chapman) and attempted a quick rehearsal with him. Soundcheck was mostly spent 'topping-and-tailing' songs, ostensibly for Steve's benefit 'though I for one appreciated the chance to run through some of the rarely played stuff. Great to have 'Green Onions' back too... with Shirley back it was time for a visit to the bar to meet up with Paul (Rotten) from The Pistols and his girlfriend Hayley who'd come along to check out what I do when I'm not making a row with them.
Show time and with Shirley in place backstage to help Pete with his re-instated costume changes (not a job for the faint-hearted as we shall see) we launched ourselves at the first set. Without giving too much away to anyone who hasn't seen the show (shame on you!) Pete's second costume change comes towards the end of the first half- he normally goes off halfway through 'Flip, Flop and Fly' to give himself time to get ready... but he forgot until the end of the song (I'm told Michael's words to him were something like 'what are you still doing here?') which somehow involved him ending up completely naked in front of Shirley.
Well- that's their story anyway.
Nothing in the second half could rival that for lunacy- although it all could have been a disaster from the word go as the intro tape started before any of us were ready to go on resulting in a mini-panic in the dressing rooms... oh, and Pistols Paul shouted 'play some Pistols' during my bit of the band introductions which if nothing else shows what a loud voice he's got! A good gig.
I thought not. I worry myself sometimes.
The Price played quite a bit up in Dunstable- in fact the first time I met Glen Matlock was when we supported his then-band The Mavericks (yes, they had to change their name! They became The Philistines, a name Glen still uses today) in, I think, 1992. Judging by last night's visit it doesn't seem to have changed much since then; The Grove Theatre is brand new however, and reminded me of The Market Place Theatre in Amargh which we played last year. After a journey that would have been a lot less enjoyable had Pete not called to warn us that the M1 was, in his words, 'a car park' (we took the A-roads instead) Shirley went off shopping whilst I met keyboard player Steve for the first time (Ian was elsewhere, I think away playing for Roger Chapman) and attempted a quick rehearsal with him. Soundcheck was mostly spent 'topping-and-tailing' songs, ostensibly for Steve's benefit 'though I for one appreciated the chance to run through some of the rarely played stuff. Great to have 'Green Onions' back too... with Shirley back it was time for a visit to the bar to meet up with Paul (Rotten) from The Pistols and his girlfriend Hayley who'd come along to check out what I do when I'm not making a row with them.
Show time and with Shirley in place backstage to help Pete with his re-instated costume changes (not a job for the faint-hearted as we shall see) we launched ourselves at the first set. Without giving too much away to anyone who hasn't seen the show (shame on you!) Pete's second costume change comes towards the end of the first half- he normally goes off halfway through 'Flip, Flop and Fly' to give himself time to get ready... but he forgot until the end of the song (I'm told Michael's words to him were something like 'what are you still doing here?') which somehow involved him ending up completely naked in front of Shirley.
Well- that's their story anyway.
Nothing in the second half could rival that for lunacy- although it all could have been a disaster from the word go as the intro tape started before any of us were ready to go on resulting in a mini-panic in the dressing rooms... oh, and Pistols Paul shouted 'play some Pistols' during my bit of the band introductions which if nothing else shows what a loud voice he's got! A good gig.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Yet another partial success
Time for the next installment of the ongoing drama that is-
'Leigh and Steve go for a drink in Uxbridge'
-in which our heroes get unfeasibly angry over 68 pence.
Monday evening and myself and Price merchandise supremo Steve (a.k.a. East) are in The Three Tuns on Uxbridge High Street, and, for the time being at least, are both in good humour. Our teams (he's United, I'm Liverpool) are both in Champions League semi-finals, there's some upcoming Price gigs to prepare for and the beer's cheap at only £1.94 a pint. There's no nutters having a go at us for once, it's approaching closing time and, general ranting and raving aside, we're having a fine evening which we decide to end with 2 halves 'as it's a school day tomorrow'. I pay the barmaid with a fiver and she brings back my change which, for some reason, I put on the bar... and it's only £2.38. It should, unless I've forgotten my maths, be £3.06.
Funny how it's the little things in life that count isn't it? I guess if I was a more confident person I'd have pointed out to her that she'd made a mistake and my change was wrong... but, no, I decided that she was actually a master criminal cruelly embezzling a fortune out of hapless punters in an otherwise insignificant West London pub. And I got really annoyed. I'm still annoyed now- mostly with myself for not saying something about it at the time. Sometimes I'd trade some I.Q. points to be more confident, more sure of myself, more... like everyone else is, if you know what I mean. But, I wouldn't be me if I did that, would I?
Mind you, East thought she probably needed the money for a decent haircut- either that or the next part of her sex change operation. He's a cruel man. But fair.
'Leigh and Steve go for a drink in Uxbridge'
-in which our heroes get unfeasibly angry over 68 pence.
Monday evening and myself and Price merchandise supremo Steve (a.k.a. East) are in The Three Tuns on Uxbridge High Street, and, for the time being at least, are both in good humour. Our teams (he's United, I'm Liverpool) are both in Champions League semi-finals, there's some upcoming Price gigs to prepare for and the beer's cheap at only £1.94 a pint. There's no nutters having a go at us for once, it's approaching closing time and, general ranting and raving aside, we're having a fine evening which we decide to end with 2 halves 'as it's a school day tomorrow'. I pay the barmaid with a fiver and she brings back my change which, for some reason, I put on the bar... and it's only £2.38. It should, unless I've forgotten my maths, be £3.06.
Funny how it's the little things in life that count isn't it? I guess if I was a more confident person I'd have pointed out to her that she'd made a mistake and my change was wrong... but, no, I decided that she was actually a master criminal cruelly embezzling a fortune out of hapless punters in an otherwise insignificant West London pub. And I got really annoyed. I'm still annoyed now- mostly with myself for not saying something about it at the time. Sometimes I'd trade some I.Q. points to be more confident, more sure of myself, more... like everyone else is, if you know what I mean. But, I wouldn't be me if I did that, would I?
Mind you, East thought she probably needed the money for a decent haircut- either that or the next part of her sex change operation. He's a cruel man. But fair.
Monday, April 30, 2007
'Ever since I was a young boy...'
Friday afternoon proved to be just about long enough for me to revise Austin's set, (or at least to try to second guess the most likely songs that he'd want to play) and to decide that, yes, I was going to play my new Zemaitis-alike guitar rather than the Les Paul that I'd normally use for one of his shows before it was time to head off to Wimbledon and the familiar surroundings of The Alexandra pub quite near the centre of town- except that they've changed it quite a bit since I'd last been there, not least by filling it with South African people who, though friendly seemed all to be of a mind to tell us what songs we were going to play before we'd even set up our gear. Still they seemed to enjoy our efforts as did I- it's a rare set list that includes 'Car Wash', 'Born to be Wild' and 'Losing my Religion'... and Shirley got chatted up/asked to dance by men instead of women for a change which I guess is good? My guitar played as well as I'd hoped it would (which is very good indeed) and somebody asked Shirl if I was as good in bed as I am on guitar, which gets weirder and weirder the more I think about it. A fine evening.
A somewhat bleary Saturday in the shop began with the arrival of perspective new Saturday boy Joe who seems to be a good prospect, being both annoyingly young and even more annoyingly good on the guitar (I'm sure he said something at one point about doing his Grade 8 exam- that's as high as the grades go...). Paul the guv'nor was on good form and the day passed without too much incident though the highlight for me had to be when Tony (a former guitar pupil of mine) bought in a Takamine electro-acoustic guitar previously owed by Simon Townshend; I find myself unable to resist a go at 'Pinball Wizard' on it whilst wondering out loud if Pete himself had played that song on the guitar- 'a moment' as Paul described it. He wasn't wrong.
The Wrestler's Barn is, you've guessed it, a barn at the back of a pub called The Wrestlers in St. Neots, 20-odd miles north of Stevenage. Finding the town is easy; finding the pub is something of a nightmare- after endless 'is that it over there' moments (there's a lot of pubs in St. Neots!) and wondering if we really did just pass a fish and chip shop called The Codfather (we did, a number of times) we eventually managed to find the correct bit of the one way system and arrived in time for a quick soundcheck. The pub had been closed for a couple of weeks following a drug bust (!) so we were told numbers were a bit down on normal but the people who were there were well into it even though Tim/Sid's bass packed up at the end which meant no encores. Ah well- leave 'em wanting more eh?
Sunday started earlier than I'd have liked- 2 late nights in a row were starting to catch up with me. (memo to any younger readers- never wish that you're older than you are!) I'd thought about going up to the guitar show over in Docklands but instead went up to Camden Market with Shirley who's after some shoes (as usual!) (sorry Shirl!) with the intention of getting myself a Sex Pistols t-shirt or 2 for stage wear when depping in The Pistols; instead I came home with some bootleg dvd's (The Who for myself and The Cockney Rejects for my brother). Hmm... after a quick snooze (like I say, never wish you're older than you are!) it was off to Ruislip Golf Club with Big Andy to see Glen Matlock play a highly enjoyable acoustic show- a excellent end to a busy weekend.
http://www.thepistols.co.uk
http://www.glenmatlock.com
A somewhat bleary Saturday in the shop began with the arrival of perspective new Saturday boy Joe who seems to be a good prospect, being both annoyingly young and even more annoyingly good on the guitar (I'm sure he said something at one point about doing his Grade 8 exam- that's as high as the grades go...). Paul the guv'nor was on good form and the day passed without too much incident though the highlight for me had to be when Tony (a former guitar pupil of mine) bought in a Takamine electro-acoustic guitar previously owed by Simon Townshend; I find myself unable to resist a go at 'Pinball Wizard' on it whilst wondering out loud if Pete himself had played that song on the guitar- 'a moment' as Paul described it. He wasn't wrong.
The Wrestler's Barn is, you've guessed it, a barn at the back of a pub called The Wrestlers in St. Neots, 20-odd miles north of Stevenage. Finding the town is easy; finding the pub is something of a nightmare- after endless 'is that it over there' moments (there's a lot of pubs in St. Neots!) and wondering if we really did just pass a fish and chip shop called The Codfather (we did, a number of times) we eventually managed to find the correct bit of the one way system and arrived in time for a quick soundcheck. The pub had been closed for a couple of weeks following a drug bust (!) so we were told numbers were a bit down on normal but the people who were there were well into it even though Tim/Sid's bass packed up at the end which meant no encores. Ah well- leave 'em wanting more eh?
Sunday started earlier than I'd have liked- 2 late nights in a row were starting to catch up with me. (memo to any younger readers- never wish that you're older than you are!) I'd thought about going up to the guitar show over in Docklands but instead went up to Camden Market with Shirley who's after some shoes (as usual!) (sorry Shirl!) with the intention of getting myself a Sex Pistols t-shirt or 2 for stage wear when depping in The Pistols; instead I came home with some bootleg dvd's (The Who for myself and The Cockney Rejects for my brother). Hmm... after a quick snooze (like I say, never wish you're older than you are!) it was off to Ruislip Golf Club with Big Andy to see Glen Matlock play a highly enjoyable acoustic show- a excellent end to a busy weekend.
http://www.thepistols.co.uk
http://www.glenmatlock.com
Friday, April 27, 2007
The weekend starts here!
Back to the theatre yesterday with Stu- I'd missed the previous week as Shirley and myself had a few days away down in Dorset. A busy morning seemed to drag on and on with Stu checking the 'prop' guitars that are used on stage during the show which, although there's not much left on them that works (they've been, for want of a better word, 'cannibalised' whenever a spare part's been needed!) still get their string's changed every so often (as Stu put it, 'they need to look as though they're being played'). Still we were all done in time to meet Stu's mate Brian in the pub opposite, followed by an all-out assault on the never-ending HMV sale. Even I managed to buy something this time- the re-issue of 'Marquee Moon' by Television since you ask- and Stu picked up a Hendrix box set for next to nothing which can't be bad.
Tonight I've got a gig with Austin in his duo Liquid over in Wimbledon so I've got to spend this afternoon revising rather a lot of songs (I've not played with him for ages and we do 3 40+ minute sets). Tomorrow night it's a short notice gig depping with The Pistols up in St. Neots and Sunday evening Glen Matlock's back at Ruislip Golf Club for an acoustic show; and it's the guitar show over in Docklands which I might try to get over to on Sunday- a busy weekend in prospect. Actually that's a bit weird isn't it? Pistols tribute one night, a real Pistol the next. Hmm... is that life imitating art, or the other way round?
Tonight I've got a gig with Austin in his duo Liquid over in Wimbledon so I've got to spend this afternoon revising rather a lot of songs (I've not played with him for ages and we do 3 40+ minute sets). Tomorrow night it's a short notice gig depping with The Pistols up in St. Neots and Sunday evening Glen Matlock's back at Ruislip Golf Club for an acoustic show; and it's the guitar show over in Docklands which I might try to get over to on Sunday- a busy weekend in prospect. Actually that's a bit weird isn't it? Pistols tribute one night, a real Pistol the next. Hmm... is that life imitating art, or the other way round?
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